I’m a TV eater.
Wait. No. I don’t eat TVs. I enjoy eating in front of them. I know every health magazine out there condemns that mindless, shove-don’t-savor eating technique, but whatever.
I enjoy it.
Last night, I was on my own for dinner so I enjoyed Jimmy Johns a la DVR. Pretty Little Liars was up first. It’s times like these when I’m immensely thankful I’m not on a reality show; because most nights I’m sitting on my couch like a damn pig in sweats watching a TV show meant for a target audience of prepubescent girls.
Good thing my blog can paint me in a more attractive, less pathetic light, am I right?
So, I finish #PLL and I move onto Dance Moms. It’s at that point I think Hmmm, I still want to eat.
So, I pause the child prodigies who, by the way, make me feel even more pathetic as I watch them win dance competions at the ages of 9 and 10, and I’m all, Hey, I’m 26 and today I answered emails and bought tissues for the office.
Again, I digress.
I end up eating a shit ton of left over cookie dough from this weekend. I may have even had a spoonful of buttercream frosting, but that’s neither here nor there.
Afterwards, I felt like shit. Shocking, I know.
Then, something that hasn’t happened in months, smacked me in the brain. I was having a mental battle for like, 25 minutes, berating myself for eating that dessert.
It’s at this point that Kim of Queen started and I felt a little better. You would think a tween pageant show would make me feel on par with the baby dancers show, but that’d be wrong.
Thankfully, I was slapped back to reality by my favorite POSITIVE reality TV show, Kim of Queens. Kim Gravel is so freaking positive and life coach-y that she made me, the lazy slob on the couch, feel positive too.
In conclusion, one freaking dessert isn’t going to make or break a damn thing.
So, that’s pretty much my roller coaster of emotions around TV and food.