It seems to be that time again. It’s time to address some random, truthful thoughts that happen to enter my mind on Thursdays.
Thought #1 Did anyone hear that Lindsay Lohan’s probation was revoked?
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Two questions for you: 1. Who’s shocked? 2. Who gives a fuck? At this point, whenever a news anchor wastes oxygen in order to update the world on Lindsay Lohan’s train-wreck of a life, I half expect them to follow up with an equally obvious fact such as: The sky is blue today.
Thought #2 On a cuter note, my heart melted a little bit yesterday afternoon when Campbell seemed intent on spotting my mom and her friend’s in Ellen’s audience (we did see her!)
Thought #3 Why is it that on the day I wear tights, my bladder shrinks and I have to pee twice as often? #annoying
Thought #4 I can’t make up my mind about crackle nail polish.
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Is it trendy-cool, or does it defeat the whole purpose of wearing nail polish? I think it looks borderline trashtastic to have chipped nail polish – but if it’s supposed to look that way, does it make a difference?
Thought #5 One-person public bathrooms make me nervous. I feel like if I don’t sprint in and out of one in less than three minutes, everyone in the entire establishment assumes I’m pooping. On the other hand, if I do have to poop, all I can do is give a sigh and a shoulder shrug to the next lady in line.
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*My apologies to any reader who holds the firm belief that girls don’t poop.
So these you have it. The highly intellectual thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis.
Does anyone else agree (or disagree!) with any of these?
I do not like that nail varnish! That’s my thought for the day (I usually only have one)
I definitely can’t get in to the crackle polish trend. I hate when my polish starts chipping!
Totally agree about Lindsay Lohan–she is a mess! It’s really sad because she could have had a great career, but in the end, fame got the best of her.
I didn’t know what crackle nail polish was until about a week ago! A girl I babysit (she’s 13) told me that I was “out of the loop” as she was explaining it to me. I think it’s a cute concept for younger girls, but I think it comes across as unprofessional and can appear a bit sloppy for an adult.
You’re right! All she has now is a mouth full of rotten teeth
Hahaha! You crack me up. I actually like the crackle nail poil – it’s different. And I know a lot of guys that believe girls don’t poop, fart, burp, etc. Ummm…ok.
Oh boys..
You never fail to leave me laughing. I think I’ll ask the news anchor at work today if they could actually follow up with “and in other news – the sky is still blue”, god that would be hilarious. Though I don’t know if the powers that be would like it
How is life with a dog? I’m counting down the days til I get my little puppy but I’m nervous too!
Hahah DO IT!
hahaha
#1- I am so totally sick of hearing about Lindsey Lohan. What a train wreck.
#2- Super cute
I was watching the show too while I was at physical therapy, it was a cute show.
#3- That totally happens to me too!
#4- never tried crackle nail polish, but it looks kinda cool.
#5- made me laugh the most, because I feel the exact same way. I actually refuse to go into 1 person bathrooms most of the time. It also makes me really nervous and I can’t focus
haha
Hahah not being able to focus is the worst! It’s like “Come onnn!! People are waiiiiting.”
I COMPLETELY agree with the one person bathroom thought! The WORST is at races when there are just a few porta potties and a huge line, so everyone is monitoring your time in there! HA!
LOLOLOLOL. Okay, my thoughts:
1. WTF is wrong with her teeth? Was she on probation from brushing them as well?
2. TOTES jells of your mom getting to go see Ellen LIVE.
3. I am wearing leggings today, so we’ll have to see if a similar reaction circumstance occurs.
4. I like the nail polish. It does look purposeful, which makes it TRENDY (a la ripped jeans, hahaha.)
5. BAHAHAHA, men the world over are having their dreams dashed. Well, except my boyfriend. Who is ALL TOO WELL AWARE of the fact that EVERYBODY poops.
I bet it’s the crack cocaine. I hear it takes a toll not only on your brain cells, but on your teeth as well.
I wish they would just throw Lindsay Coke-han in jail already. Enough with the overcrowding garbage. And make sure she gets a damn toothbrush while she’s in there. Sheesh. Crest whitestrips are what…like 15$ at the store. Get some girl, get some.
I cant get on team crackle nailpolish. It would drive me bananas!
I hate one stall restrooms! I feel the same way! I also find it awkward to be in a silent restroom with multiple stalls with someone who is just hanging out in the bathroom. Err can you leave so I can handle my business?!
hahaha…I get so uncomfortable in the single broom lines! I am half afraid the broom is going to be gross or smelly and the person behind me will think it was me, or that I will take too long and they will think (or know) I am pooping! I know I shouldn’t care, as it is normal, but I still get super anxious
Also, I am sick of hearing about Linsdsay Lohan! and I kind of like the crackle nail polish look!
I am so with you on all counts. Except the crackle. I just can’t get into it.
Nail polish is kind of a pain to wear, in general. I usually chip it within an hour of putting it on. I guess I was setting a trend way before it was well-known
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I was in love with the shattered nail polish for a little while, but it is a b*tch to remove – even with the strongest nail polish remover I could find, so I next to never use it any more. Also I’m not a fan of the black, I have silver which I think looks much prettier depending on the colours you pair it with. My favourite is pink with the silver shatter. Less in your face but super pretty.
YES! to just about all of them! Especially the bathroom thing… lol.
I cannot get behind the crackle nails. They just look messy and I enjoy a clean, sleek look. I’d be stressed just looking at them.
haaha. to quote a great book, “everybody poops.”
aaand YEAH for your mama being spotted on ellen! I’m gonna watch my (TiVo-ed) episode tomorrow after work. I’ll look for her.
as for the crackle, I’m really only a fan of the metallic ones. I like gold on top of light pink (borderline obssessed) and silver on top of lilac. the black and the white look a little grungy to me.
Love it all Especially agree with #1. She’s not even relevant anymore.
I can honestly say I just about agree with every single one of the above.
I love the crackle polish! I have yet to buy some yet though.
I loved the bathroom one. TOo funny.
I literally saw lindsay on the news yesterday and said, “what a surprise, who cares?” I also think she looks like a complete crack whore and that picture shows me that I am right. What a shame. Anyway, I thought the nail polish was really cool but mine didn’t turn out too great. I was disappointed!
I must admit I am a total single bathroom judger. I was at a restaurant that only had one for men and women. There was a guy in there for legit 10 minutes. All the ladies in line and I were just giving each other looks and giggling:)
Holy crap you are awesome!
I’m way out of the loop! I’ve never even SEEN this cracked nail polish trend! I hate single bathrooms – they totally make me nervous. Also – soooo over Lindsay Lohan.
No one should care about Lindsay anymore. The extent of my caring is, “Ugh, she looks terrible as a blond.”
And I hate all public bathrooms for a variety of reasons, but YES, super valid point right there!
Hell yes I agree! To all of them! I had a crazy chaotic day and needed the giggle this gave me. So thanks for that
It’s always a bummer to see a once-successful celebrity flush their life down the drain. It especially bites because The Parent Trap was one of my favorite movies (of its time, anyway) and I know I’ll never be able to watch it and feel the same way again. As for the other topics – you crack me up, and I completely agree. Crackle polish and one-person public bathrooms are not for me.
Haha this did make me giggle!
And I feel exactly the same about single public loos
But I’m not really a fan of that nail varnish, I think it looks a bit trashy!
haha, totally agree with you with the bathroom thing.
oh, not a fan of the crackle polish. i’m so ocd when it comes to my nails, it would bother me.
Intellectual Indeed! haha. My cat just took a liking to the tv this week. I hope I haven’t created a monster.
omg i’m OBSESSED with your crackle nail polish!!!!! i need to find that asap haha
I hate when I have to use single-person bathrooms after someone else has pooped. I literally have to hold myself back from saying “It wasn’t me!” to the next person in line when I’m leaving, which would pretty much guarantee that they’ll think it was me. I sometimes wonder just how many people think/say “it wasn’t me” before everything goes back to normal.
I’m sorry if this is weird but I think I love you because I just discovered your blog and in the first post you admitted that girls poop. Thank you for acknowledging this since just about every other girl is afraid to. You’re hilarious!