Thoughts During The First Day of a Diet “Adjustment”

I’ve been stuck in a familiar rut lately. I’ve been eating and drinking whatever I want, whenever I want.

Long story short, Cory and I agreed we’d tighten the reigns at home, cut the crap, and hold each other accountable. At least until we started feeling good again* ;)

Yesterday I had eggs for breakfast, turkey roll ups, almonds, and celery with a laughing cow cheese for lunch, and a salad for dinner.

My thoughts throughout the day were as follows:

9:30 AM, two hours post-breakfast: I’m certain that my stomach is eating itself.

10:15 AM: I want French Fries.

10:17 AM: Just thinking about vegetables make me want to vomit. 

Noon: Maybe my jeans are just tight because I washed them two weeks ago. 

1:00, Lunchtime: I’d rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable. 

1:22 PM: The “chew gum to curb cravings” trick is a crock of shit. 

1:30 – 4:30, Day dream of fried Oreos: I’ve never had a fried Oreo, but I think I’d like it.

4:30 – 5:30 PM: Body Flow/wonder if anyone in the room is as hungry as I am.

5:30 – 5:45 PM, on the ride home from the gym: Don’t forget to refill your prescription. Maybe I should stop at CVS. CVS has M&Ms. CANDY. 

5:47 PM: Cory, you love me no matter what I look like. Right?!

5:55 PM, when I realize I didn’t take the pork tenderloin out of the freezer, foiling dinner plans: What do I want for dinner? Panera’s broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl with a side of baguette. 

7:12 PM, After decision was made that we’d have salads for dinner: I hate grilled chicken with a undying passion.

8:25 PM:  Seriously, Target? Why in the fuck do you have bathing suits out right now?

9:10 PM: Chocolate. Caramel. Ice cream. Swedish Fish. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SWEETS! 

9:12 PM: I’d rather walk over hot coals than watch this episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. 

9:13 PM: There are no carbs in fro-yo.

9:45 PM: Maybe if I got a spray tan I could stop all this foolishness…

10:00 PM: I’m so tired, but I’ll never be able to sleep on this EMPTY STOMACH.

~10:07: Passed out (probably due to severe hunger.)

*No, I don’t think I’m fat. Don’t get your panties in a knot. I just need to stop eating crap at every meal. And that’s a tough adjustment, mmkay?

Comments

  1. says

    I am currently going through the same situation! We didn’t have a frig for over a month and ate out all the time. We have been eating healthier for the past 2 weeks, but yesterday morning I woke up with the thought of ‘if I see one more egg I will puke” so pancakes for breakfast it was. Can’t wait to hear how today goes, good luck!

  2. says

    I’m with you on this! These kind of thoughts always run through my mind when I make intentional changes to my diet. You’re not the only one…you’re just the honest one!

  3. says

    oh my gosh Trey and I are doing the same thing! trying to cut out alc during the week, more veg, more fish, less meat, less sweets….butttt guess who made brownies last night… sigh

    • Colleen says

      It is SO HARD. Today is my day off, and I’m trying to make myself as busy as possible so I don’t raid the pantry and stuff fig newtons down my throat. It’s a tough life ;)

  4. says

    Haha this post is awesome. The end. And ps I’m in the same boat as you, after holidays and vacation and a limited workout schedule my pants are t-i-g-h-t… time for a cleanup over here as well!

    • Colleen says

      Oh thank goodness. I always get worried about posts like theses, like no one will be able to relate! Yes, my thighs feel like sausages when I wear my jeans. It’s a terrible thing! Time to nix that before they don’t fit!! :)

  5. Megan Parker says

    OMG!!! Those are the thoughts I have almost every day!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I give in :( but I am having more days of good eating than bad so its okay right!? Thank you for the small text at the bottom because I hate when you talk about this type of issue and people dismiss it like you can’t talk about eating bad.

    • Colleen says

      I’m so glad I’m not the only one!! And yeah, more good days than bad days is always a win in my book! :) I felt like I had to put that small text in because some people are rude and cruel and can’t take a joke. No, I don’t think I’m fat – but by the way I’ve been eating you’d think I WANT to be. It’s okay to eat poorly, but as long as you lock it up before it becomes a real problem (i.e. having to buy a whole new wardrobe) then whatever. Thanks for the positive feedback, Megan! Sorry we missed you on Saturday but I hope you’re feeling better!

  6. says

    Ugh I am doing this “detox” thing my trainer has been wanting me to do to help kick things off good after eating liek shit forever. it is nothing extreme, basically eating really clean for a week and somewhat limited on options. the biggest thing is i cant have cheese. but i am grumpy because i love food and eating chicken brocc and sweet potato at every meal is not as fun as eating pizza and pasta and CHEESE dammit.

  7. LK says

    Hahah my boyfriend and I both started doing this app on our phones called MyFitnessPal and he is SO much better at it than I am. He’ll text me and be like, “Yayy under my calorie goal again today!” And I’m like I HATE YOU. It may be the end of us. Also at my new job, the downstairs has a literal food court full of Popeye’s, Panda Express, and other kinds of foods to tempt my sanity.

      • LK says

        Hahaha there is nothing on Facebook! He is the one I was talking to when we were at Ripka’s birthday party though! The med student at UVA :)

  8. says

    LOL I loved this post. You are too funny. I’m sure after the first week or two of cutting out the crap it’ll be much easier for you. You got it!

  9. says

    Welcome to my head. I’m doing that whole no added sugar thing, and when someone asks me if my sugar cravings have subsided, I basically tell them, “yeah, totally! Like, if you came over here with a fresh, warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie that’s still a little doughy, with melting chocolate chips and maybe some toffee chunks? Or even some M&Ms. Or, OMG, if they were dipped in chocolate and drizzled with peanut butter?? I wouldn’t even care.”

    It’s kind of an issue.

  10. says

    Hahah seriously I love your blog! It is hysterical but true. It’s important to try to stay healthy but always to enjoy yourself! I usually have a treat of light cool whip with sunflower butter and chocolate chips about an hour or two before bed so I feel like I am having something sweet!

  11. Paige Riedl says

    Too funny! I’m having a similar re-commitment issue. I had hip surgery a few weeks ago, so the combination of not being able to work out and having a similar “whatever I want, whenever I want” mentality that you mention has turned me into a blob. Good luck adjusting!

  12. Erika says

    “Fat” or “skinny” – everybody can benefit from eating more good and less crap. I’m trying to stop my mindless nighttime snacking and on the nights I succeed I feel and sleep so much better. Swedish Fish are soooo good – they are the exception to any “no junk” rule!

  13. says

    Hey, at least you’re honest! I’m sure you’ll get used to the less sugar thing in time, it is way hard to break the habit, I have been there!

  14. Kathryn says

    Haaaaa! Josh and I laughed SOOO hard reading this! We’re both making changes to our diet and have been eating grilled chicken almost every day since January 1 and it gets old!! Good luck to both of us!

  15. says

    As I read this, all I could think about was the song Killing Me Softly.

    Because, ya know, you knowing that I struggle with sugar cravings is the same thing as what Lauren Hill was singing about.

    I’m so damn weird.

  16. says

    I will give you major props for going to Target and not giving in. I would have given in with the french fries for sure, they are my weakness.

  17. Meg says

    I am doing a Paleo challenge through my gym. Believe me, I am not the paleo type, and I have no interest in extending it even one day beyond the 30 days, but I needed support to banish the delicious carbs and desserts I had grown dependent on over the holidays. 8 days down, 22 to go and it has NOT gotten easier, I’m afraid.

  18. Lori Connors says

    Seriously cracking up at my desk! I feel your pain….as I sit here and think only 12 more minutes until I can eat my morning snack.

  19. Jacque says

    I relate to this 100%. 10pm last night I was craving pop tarts and had to hold it together. I went to bed hangry, which is the story of my life when I’m trying to reign myself in!

  20. Julia says

    Haha, I love this! This is exactly my thought process pretty much every single day. It also doesn’t help that my boyfriend can eat 5+ cookies a day and lose weight! Seriously, it’s unfair. And what’s up with target having bathing suits out like immediately after the holidays?! And they’re right across from their discounted holiday candy, I guess so when you’re upset about being half-naked in a swim suit, you can just shuffle over and stuff yourself with hershey kisses…or at least that’s what I’d probably want to do :)

  21. says

    Yes, seriously Target. Fuck you. I’m pregnant right now (but even if I wasn’t) and it’s FREAKING January – I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I’LL NEED TO PRANCE AROUND HALF NAKED IN A FEW MONTHS!

  22. says

    I swear the second I think diet, I start eating more and worse!! instead I now try to just think about how many veggies can I manage to eat today…slowly that kicks the other stuff off and helps my brain not sabotage me!

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