My wedding day was one of the best days of my life for many reasons, but mainly I think it was because all I cared about was getting married.
I was a laid back bride for the mot part, but I had a few “moments.” Most notable: the 20-minute conversation about white vs. ivory napkins which ended with something like, Are you fucking kidding me?! They’re the same!! Someone else just make the GD decision! Where was the cake tasting everyone kept talking about?
As wedding season begins and my third wedding anniversary approaches, I felt that it was time to share my Things No One Tells series.
My first installment shall focus on being newly engaged.
Things No One Tells Newly Engaged Girls
First off, I don’t mean to be harsh, but no one cares about your wedding nearly as much as you do. Really. No one.
Don’t get mad at me, Bridezilla. I’m trying to help.
You don’t want to be the girl who only talks about herself for the year leading up to the wedding, do you? We all know her, and we all know she’s obnoxious. You want to avoid the identity shift from woman-with-goals-and-achievements to Bride. It’s tough, but I believe in you!
Once the shock of The Proposal sets in, choosing your bridesmaids is probably one of the first things you’ll want to do. But I encourage you to not jump the gun. If you’re going to have a long engagement, wait a few months. You don’t want to regret a bridesmaid. I see it happen all the time. Tragic, really.
When it does come time to choose a wedding party, always keep in mind why you want those women by your side on The Big Day.
I say that, because nothing can kill a friendship faster than you letting their identities shift from Best Friends Forever to Wedding Slaves.
If you somehow believe
in your twisted mind that your friends (who have lives and jobs and hobbies outside of being your bridesmaid) are supposed to bend over backwards for you and your perfect day, those girls will become sick of you and kick you to the curb faster than you can post honeymoon selfies. I know you’re marrying your best friend, but trust me when I say that your girlfriends are your soul mates. Don’t be a bitch.
During your engagement you’re bound to be celebrated more than once. Be a gracious bride, and do not expect anything from anyone. If someone is willing to throw you a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, your only job is to be the happiest, most thankful person in the room. Please remember that those people don’t have to do any of that for you.
Being engaged is fun and exciting, but with countless wedding magazines and Say Yes to the Dress marathons, it’s easy to lose sight of the end game: marriage. Don’t let the engagement serve as a “time out” from nurturing your relationship. Keep dating, keep flirting, and keep having conversations that don’t revolve around The Wedding.
Oh, please refrain from calling your fiancé your hubby. It makes people throw up in their mouths a little bit.