Things No One Tells Engaged Girls

My wedding day was one of the best days of my life for many reasons, but mainly I think it was because all I cared about was getting married. 

I was a laid back bride for the mot part, but I had a few “moments.” Most notable: the 20-minute conversation about white vs. ivory napkins which ended with something like,  Are you fucking kidding me?! They’re the same!! Someone else just make the GD decision! Where was the cake tasting everyone kept talking about?

As wedding season begins and my third wedding anniversary approaches, I felt that it was time to share my Things No One Tells series.

My first installment shall focus on being newly engaged.

Things No One Tells Newly Engaged Girls

First off, I don’t mean to be harsh, but no one cares about your wedding nearly as much as you do. Really. No one. 

Don’t get mad at me, Bridezilla. I’m trying to help.

You don’t want to be the girl who only talks about herself for the year leading up to the wedding, do you? We all know her, and we all know she’s obnoxious. You want to avoid the identity shift from woman-with-goals-and-achievements to Bride. It’s tough, but I believe in you!

Once the shock of The Proposal sets in, choosing your bridesmaids is probably one of the first things you’ll want to do. But I encourage you to not jump the gun. If you’re going to have a long engagement, wait a few months. You don’t want to regret a bridesmaid. I see it happen all the time. Tragic, really.

When it does come time to choose a wedding party, always keep in mind why you want those women by your side on The Big Day.

bridesmaids

I say that, because nothing can kill a friendship faster than you letting their identities shift from Best Friends Forever to Wedding Slaves.

If you somehow believe in your twisted mind that your friends (who have lives and jobs and hobbies outside of being your bridesmaid) are supposed to bend over backwards for you and your perfect day, those girls will become sick of you and kick you to the curb faster than you can post honeymoon selfies. I know you’re marrying your best friend, but trust me when I say that your girlfriends are your soul mates. Don’t be a bitch.

elevator

During your engagement you’re bound to be celebrated more than once. Be a gracious bride, and do not expect anything from anyone. If someone is willing to throw you a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, your only job is to be the happiest, most thankful person in the room. Please remember that those people don’t have to do any of that for you.

shower

Being engaged is fun and exciting, but with countless wedding magazines and Say Yes to the Dress marathons, it’s easy to lose sight of the end game: marriage. Don’t let the engagement serve as a “time out” from nurturing your relationship. Keep dating, keep flirting, and keep having conversations that don’t revolve around The Wedding.

Oh, please refrain from calling your fiancé your hubby. It makes people throw up in their mouths a little bit.

 

Comments

  1. says

    Haha I love this! So true. A wedding is just a day and then it’s done, it’s the marriage that will endure. And all of your details about bridezilla and what not to do remind me of someone I (we) know. I agree with every word!

  2. says

    Words from a wise! Can I just say that I enjoy weddings SO much more now that I’m not planning one myself. Planning a wedding put into perspective how much fun I could have at them once mine was done (because I knew the process). On that note, I think everyone has one bridesmaid that really tests them…at one point. It happened to me and another friend of mine. It might be on them more than on the bride though, just saying haha!

    • says

      I agree with the bridesmaid point! Sometimes it’s not the bride! I have several friends who are currently going through this and being the neutral person I definitely see their point. Great post – can’t wait for the next one!

  3. says

    Haha these things are SO true! This was part of the reason I was glad to have a short engagement. I felt like the only thing people asked about was the wedding, and I felt weird talking about it all the time. I’m glad to be on the other side of it ;)

  4. Danielle says

    This is absolutely 100% perfect and I refuse to act like a crazy woman. I want everyone (not just myself) to be happy and stress free during the entire process and I hope I can make that happen! Thanks for the good advice!

  5. says

    HAHA, was this post directed at me! I swear I won’t talk about my wedding too much more. Seriously though, this was really helpful thank you Colleen. We are trying not to stress to much about our wedding at all.

  6. says

    Yikes, I don’t think i’ve ever heard an engaged woman call her fiancé “Hubby”… but then again, maybe I have and just didn’t realize they weren’t married yet:/
    I’ve been engaged for a few months and it took me awhile just to remember to say fiancé instead of boyfriend…

  7. says

    This is awesome! As a 25 year old, so many of my friends are getting engaged/married and they need this! I can’t wait to see the other parts :)

  8. says

    So true! I wish someone had told me to hold fire on the bridesmaid choice, as it resulted in a rather awkward conversation and ultimately the demolition of a friendship.

    Think about it. Think some more. Wait a bit and then, when you are 100% sure, go for it.

    Also. For amusement and to keep yourself grounded, occasionally read a wedding planning forum.

  9. says

    AMEN to all of this!! Honest but true, no one cares nearly as much about your wedding as you. And the whole bit about bridesmaids begin wedding slavers – no faster way to lose friends. Great – and hilarious – post, per usual. :-)

  10. says

    I’m working on 8 years of marriage over here and I feel like most people who got married to get married and have it be ALL about them are already divorced. The most important thing that people lose sight of is that at the end of the day YOU are getting a HUSBAND not a wedding. The wedding day is simply a ceremony and way to celebrate.

  11. says

    GREAT article! I definitely agree with the last sentence so dang much. I can’t stand that word….”hubby”. It makes me cringe even typing it. A few of my friends use it on facebook and every time I come across it I think I feel a tiny bit of dislike towards them unfortunately. Ha! Just found your blog and I love it!

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