File this under: things no one tells you.
The programs. The favors. The food [sit down, buffet, heavy hors d’oeuvres?!] The seating chart. The decorations. The centerpieces. The table cloths. EV.ERY.THING that must be considered to have thee most perfect wedding.
Thanks a lot, Pinterest.
When you’re in the depths of wedding planning, every detail seems painstakingly crucial. Like, your first dance song and what kind of granola bar to put in the welcome bag for your guests at the hotel are on the same level of critical importance.
I’m here to tell you to slow down, crazy. Slow down.
While all the cutesy things are appreciated in the moment, no one will remember them. Sorry. Truth is, you might not even remember them.
Like, what did my centerpieces look like? I don’t really remember off the top of my head. What I do remember is crying over them because Cory and I couldn’t agree on anything. Or our bouquets, for example – I can only remember the colors.
But exactly what they looked like? Um, not really. But at the time, they were SO IMPORTANT. [insert eye roll here]
I think all us girls can agree that after you’ve had your own wedding, or if you’re lucky enough to attend some weddings while you’re wedding planning, you kind of become a wedding critic.
In a, hmm – I see what she did there, critic. [And sometimes a what the fuck did she do there? critic]
As a seasoned wedding critic, I’ve found that there are only two things that truly matter when it comes to hosting a fun, memorable wedding reception.
Music and Booze.
Clearly, the venue, the food, the and fluff matter. Duh, of course they do – but not nearly as much as the music and the booze.
I’ve been to over-the-top weddings and backyard weddings and I’ve had equal amounts of fun, because both had great music and free liquor.
People like dancing. People like free drinks. People like dancing with free drinks. [I despise dancing, but at weddings, I’ll put that hate in the corner.]
At our wedding, we didn’t spend money on favors (seriously, because all I could find in the favor department was pure cheese) so we considered our open bar the “favor.” As much as everyone would have liked a wine glass with Cory & Colleen 8.6.11 engraved on the front, I think free liquor for 6 hours was more appreciated.
I know in tons of wedding books and magazines they say to allocate 20% [or whatever] of your budget to flowers or stationary or something else that will die or be quickly thrown away. But go with me on this one – music and booze. That winning combination will create the best memories for years to come.
Oh, and skip the champagne toast. By that point, everyone already has a drink, so it [the champagne and the money] goes to waste. And that’s alcohol abuse if you ask me.