The Couple that Namastes Together, Stays Together(?)

Today, Cory and I tried something new and took a yoga class together.

I hyped up this upcoming experience like nobody’s business because yoga at my old gym was totally perfect.

Cory, you’ll feel so relaxed and centered.

Cory, I LOVE YOGA.

Cory, the couple that namastes together, STAYS together. 

Cory. Get ready for your life to be changed. Forever. 

At this point Cory looked through the windows to my soul and told me to namastopit.

So, 5:30 AM came and I was ready and excited to calm the hell down and find my center.

Unfortunately, the instructor was a snobby substitute for the normal instructor. I was hoping for a nice Vinyasa flow, but she was more of a bougie show off than anything else. At one point, she asked the class “Do you guys do (insert random body-twisting pose here)?” And everyone shrugged, as best as the could while in bow pose.

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She replied in a snarky tone, “It really helps if you learn the lingo.”

At this point, I look to Cory, who looks just as hilariously as uncomfortable as I do, and I laugh out loud.

It felt worse than laughing in church during Station of the Cross.

Needless to say, Cory hated it and my words currently hold no weight in this household. I’m hoping to redeem myself soon.

Let’s chat – Do you and your partner workout together? If you’re single, do you have a workout buddy?

Dating: It’s Hard. Sort Of.

Yesterday I had more than one conversation about how dating is hard work. It was funny because now that I’m an old married hag, people rarely ask me about dating since I’ve been “off the market” for quite some time.

Oh, but like an elephant, I never forget – and here’s what I remember working quite well.

When you meet a guy you’re interested in, go for it! Ladies, we can vote and wear pants – stop acting like you need to wait around in your petticoat for your suitor to come to your front door.

I asked Cory for his number, and I asked him to hang out for the first time (as seen here.)

What a tangled web we weave, when we first deceive is a saying I never fully appreciated until I tried to impress Cory when I told him, Oh yeah – I love watching football! That was a bold-faced lie I told to a guy I wanted to date, and it put me in a really awkward position the following Sunday when he invited me to watch the game.

I had no idea what was going on – when to cheer or when to “COMEON, REF!” I actually had to hide in the bathroom and call the biggest football fan I know for some guidance: my mother.

Over 5 years later, Cory still jokes about being terribly disappointed with the real Colleen ;)

Giants/Skins game September 11, 2011 (aka forever making up for my white lie)

Letting go of the cool factor also helps a great deal. Personally, I don’t like to learn new things in front of people – it’s my neurotic side that prefers to appear in the know at all times. But it’s different with Cory; I’ve  learned to take my guard down and allow him to teach me things – even if I look like an idiot in the process.

Don’t ditch your friends. It’s so easy to create your own little world with your main squeeze. Been there, done that – and it’s difficult to remedy. It’s important to keep friends in your lives because it helps keep your relationship healthy and balanced.

Clearly there are more serious factors that help make dating less stressful, but I think these are easy things to keep in mind :)

Love each other, my friends!

Let’s chat – Share your best dating tips!

PS – Don’t forget to enter my Sparkly Soul giveaway!

Love Languages

Sometimes I feel a little different from most of the healthy living bloggers that I associated with, because I am earning a degree (and experience) that has nothing to do with physical fitness.

No nutritional plans and no new and exciting workouts will come from me. I’m in the counseling field, and what I bring to the blogging table is my belief that mental wellness is a huge factor in living a health lifestyle.

Maybe it’s because I’m a newlywed, or maybe it’s because I have a deep interest in intimate human interaction, but I adore The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book is an interesting read for people currently in a relationship and for single people who want their next relationship to more successful, more fulfilling.

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The whole idea is that “Couples who understand each other’s love language hold a priceless advantage in the quest for love that lasts a lifetime – they know how to effectively and consistently make each other feel truly and deeply loved. That gift never fades away.” (Chapman, 2010)

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I could go on and on about this book, but let’s just get to the interesting part that every reader wants to know: What are the 5 Love Languages?

Words of Affirmation – You feel most loved when your partner pays you sincere compliments like, “You look amazing today.” or “I appreciate you taking the time to cook dinner tonight.” Like Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ;)

Quality Time – You feel most loved when your partner spends quality time with you, such as going on a walk or having an extra long (meaningful) conversation over dinner.

Receiving Gifts – You feel most loved when your partner surprises you with a gift.

Acts of Service – Your feel most loved when your partner is thoughtful and insists on doing the dishes, catching up on laundry, running errands for you, etc.

Physical Touch – You feel most loved when your partner engages in physical touch, such as a back rub,  sitting closely to one another while you watch TV at night, or holding hands on walk.

People can have a combination of two, but there’s usually one primary love language. After reading this book, I think people fall into relationship woes for two reasons. First,  they think everyone gives and receives love in the same way. Second, they think love is always easy and if you have to work at it, it must be doomed. Both are completely false.

Everyone loves a little differently, and at times, love takes work. But anything worth having isn’t always easy, right? ;)

What’s your love language? I’m primarily Quality Time with a combination of Acts of Service.

Your partner’s? (But don’t assume – go find out!)

 

As Luck Would Have It

Hi, friends! I hope your day is going well! Mine started out with a winning combination: weights and cereal :D I’m ready to plow through this day so I can see the weekend on the horizon!

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People always tell Cory and I that we are so lucky to be in a successful relationship. The truth is that we’re “lucky” to have met each other when we did, but we’re not “lucky” to be in this relationship. We’ve worked together to make it successful.

There are so many contributing factors that make a successful relationship, and I think many relationships don’t succeed because the people in them think it’s supposed to be easy all time and that everything comes naturally. Is there anyone reading this who is either married or in long-term relationship that can back me up on this one? ;)

I know relationships are an important part of life, so here are some tips on having a healthy, successful relatipnship

  • Communicate In my opinion, this is the most important thing you can do for your relationship. Try as he might, he cannot read your mind. If you spent all day working in the yard or hours prepping for a full meal and you want him to notice – TELL HIM you want him to notice your hard work. If you need alone time to make yourself happy, discuss it; don’t just “take a day to be alone” without telling her that’s what you need. She’ll think she did something wrong.
  • Laugh If your partner doesn’t make you laugh, start packing your bags. Last night, I was literally on the floor with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard because Cory was being silly. It’s moments like those that make a relationship great. I mean, if you can’t laugh – what’s the point?

  • Learn how to argue A knock a knock down, drag out, bring-up-something-from-two-years-ago fight (we’ve all be there there) is not the way to solve anything. I think people need to stop being afraid to argue with their partner. Disagreeing and not seeing eye-to-eye all the time are apart of life. Knowing how to do so effectively is key. Try using “I” statements (think: “I feel this way”) rather than “you” statements (think: “You pissed me off”) and avoiding words like “always” and “never” (think: “You never put the toilet seat down.” Really, he’s never remembered once?)
  • Get with the times It’s not 1950 anymore, ladies. It’s okay to take your manfriend on a date. It’s okay to pursue a man. You cannot wait around for a relationship without putting in any effort. I understand wanting to be sought after and “courted” if you will, but just know that it’s okay to go after someone that you want.
  • Find a common hobby Obviously you have things in common because you’re together, but learning new things together or sharing common goals is healthy. For instance, we all know how I feel about running, but it’s something Cory really enjoys – so we run races together. But it’s also important to have your own separate hobbies as well (hello, blogging!)

  • Don’t stop flirting After a couple of years (or months) two people get comfortable with each other and the “chase” usually ends. But the “chase” is the fun part! A simple wink across the room, a random text message or a compliment on how nice your partner looks goes a long way.

So as luck would have it, I met a cute boy at a frat party my first weekend of college. As hard work and dedication would have it, that cute boy is going to be my husband.

These things work for us – what has worked in your current or past relationships ?