I blame the counselor in me, but I think too much. If I feel something odd or act differently than normal, I take the time to figure out why I’m feeling/acting that way and how I can resolve it.
Like when I was a snappy bitch on Tuesday afternoon, I realized it was because I was nervous about a presentation I was giving that evening. Once I was aware of that, I was able to change my ‘tude.
Or the time Cory and I watched Castaway the night before he left for his study abroad trip to Spain (stupid idea.) I remember sobbing my way through that movie – and I had already seen it three times. I just really didn’t want him to end up with a volleyball as his only friend.
Or like this week, when I experienced (a completely made up phenomenon) runner’s block . Like not being able to write a creative sentence if I tried, I could not bring myself to go on a run. Yes, I actually am tired and yes, I actually don’t have much time to fit in 4 and 5 mile runs when I don’t get home until 10:00 – but I knew those weren’t the real reasons behind my avoidance.
I’ve avoided running this week because Sunday’s long run was traumatizing. I know I joked about it, but I had never felt so badly during a run. And the thought that was burned to the back of my brain was You can hardly run six miles. How in the hell will you run 13?
I know it’s a process and I understand everyone has bad runs, but it doesn’t negate the fact that it got under my skin and really messed with me.
So I stalled out.
But you all know I’m not one to give up that easily So today I slept in a in a bit. And rather than rolling out of bed and onto the treadmill, I took it easy and made myself some breakfast. I’m finding it easier to run when I have food in my stomach.
I’ll let that settle, wake up some more, write an email or two and then head out for a run. I’ll do my best not to think about time or distance, and I’ll just focus on putting one step in front of the other.
What more can I do, right?