On Unfriending

I have such a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love it for the ability to connect with others, but I hate it for the way it makes comparisons to other people’s lives so easy. 

Which is silly because, let’s be honest, most of the time, we’re comparing our lives to the lives of other people who we don’t even know anymore (i.e. kids in high school who were cooler than us, old friends, former significant others.)

comp.

Like it’s that easy. Ha!

In my opinion, Facebook will be the death of us because it’s the outlet that the majority of people tend to most frequently abuse. It is home of the HUMBLE BRAG, pointless life updates, and public break ups.


More often than not, I leave Facebook feeling dumber and filled with a deep concern for the human race.

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dead link via Pinterest!

You know, I’ve never tried crack cocaine, but I think it’s safe to liken it to my relationship with Facebook.

I know it’s bad for me, but I can’t stop using it. I’ll sneak hits during work, in the bathroom, and before bed. It’s not uncommon to feel bad after using, but I still do it anyway. It affects my (mental) health, people.

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via

But recently, I had a brief moment of clarity when my head was out of the social media fog and I was like, hey, I control social media. It doesn’t control me! (Just call me Buddha.)

I’m not here to say I quit Facebook. But I did start purging my “friends.” I scrolled through almost a thousand people, and if they made me jealous, sad, angry, or just plain annoyed, I deleted them.

Each time I hit “unfriend” I gave myself a little high five (awkward.) I was like, cool, I’m glad I won’t have to see their shit anymore. 

I’m making moves, man.

But, yes, I did retain some people solely because their stalking material is just too fucking good to let go of (it’s a 12-step program, okay?)

 

Comments

  1. says

    Haha, so funny!! I remember when my goal was to have as many friends as possible on facebook (college). Now, I try to go through and trim as much as possible. If I don’t know immediately who someone is when they pop up on my feed, then obviously we shouldn’t be “friends” right? Great reminder to go trim back a bit more :)

  2. Kelly says

    I completely agree. Facebook is an addiction I’ve tried to quit (I lasted a whole month once). It’s so hard to pull yourself away, because like you, I use it to stay in touch with people who are spread out all over the globe. I decried from time to time, the worst is when someone notices and either asked why or refriends you. My biggest complaint is people using Facebook as an outlet for politics and religion.

  3. Jennifer G. says

    I’ve been clean for about 2 years now and it’s the best thing I ever did. I’ll be honest, I did have a slight relapse when a friend gave me her login to check out an ex’s new baby pics (shame, I know) and I spent about 2 hours tapping back into the old habit. I felt such a Facebook hangover later that I knew that couldn’t go back. Ok, I’m really running with your addict analogy…I’ll stop. Maybe I’m too insecure to handle it, but whatever the case it wasn’t fruitful for me. I found myself feeling jealous and judgemental way too often. My social circle is super small now, but I like it that way.

  4. says

    I feel the exact same way! If I didn’t have my blog, I would probably quit Facebook for good, but it is helpful to post blog-related stuff on there. I could definitely use some friend-purging though! But I agree, some people are too good to stalk that as much as I cringe when I read their updates, it provides me great comic relief during my day…those are the people that make me feel like my life is wayyyy more awesome than theirs.

  5. says

    LIKE!

    I’m working on breaking my “addiction” to FB as well. I think my turning point was when I saw someone ramble on and on about how they had a huge crush on their boss. And I thought, “Why the hell am I reading this?! What does it say about me?!” Ha!

  6. says

    I’m about to purge it completely. While I enjoy connecting with family on there, more often I end up feeling worse logging on. I miss REAL connections with people. Like back in the day I think they actually talked on phones instead of just texting. Weird.

  7. says

    I’m so happy for you! I recently did the same exact thing and unfollowed nearly everybody. I’m down to a filtered number family members (some made the unfollow list) and people I see on a consistent basis. High school, college, old colleagues, and random people are gone from Facebook and it’s lovely. Now when I check the Book, it’s only people I care about. I try to limit my Facebook checkings to the weekends only as well. It’s tough but doable. Congrats on de-friending people–it’s great!

  8. says

    I love FB-stalking. What else would I do when there’s nothing good on TV?? lol

    I do agree, though, that if one of your FB friends’ posts are consistently upsetting you it’s best to kick them to the curb. I usually go more the route of blocking, but whatever works for you!

  9. says

    OMG can we talk about this for a second?? (obviously kidding, because we already are, duh).
    But I literally JUST had a convo the other day with one of my good friends kind of regarding this. She asked why I dont share my blog on my FB; which is funny because my answer was that I dont share personal stuff on FB (which I dont, really) which is also hilarious because I am pretty selective of who I have on FB – it has to be someone I know personally (i.e. acquaintance from high school? IGNORE REQUEST) well, I do have a few bloggers I am kinda closer with that I dont actually know, but whatever) but then that is hilarious because I have a blog where I share some pretty personal stuff with STRANGERS but I dont share personal stuff with people I know pretty well on FB? It is funny because I dont want the people that I KNOW all up in my biznass too much?
    So yes, I am very ass backwards.

    But yeah, FB will kind of be the death of us all. People say it causes drama, but I think it is only if they let it! Duh!

  10. says

    I don’t necessarily think I compare myself to others on facebook, but I definitely get annoyed by them! There are quite a few people who I’ve had to hide from my newsfeed after almost rolling my eyes out of my head from their posts.

  11. says

    This is such a great post!! I too, love social media, but it just plain sucks that we have to keep up with it LOL. I totally agree with and have done the unfriending thing. If I see people posting things that just make me feel bad and dont bring joy to my life…they are no longer my FB friend.

  12. says

    Hahaha! Facebook definitely seems to be fading away in comparison to Twitter and Instagram, but I’m still SUCH a stalker on it. I mean, I basically told my friend who HER two best friends were (that I’ve never met) because I stalked her on Facebook. It’s a good thing I’m close to her. It’s still creepy though.

  13. says

    YES! Facebook is such a time suck. But it almost seems like a necessity these days. I do the same thing–I log on, get cranky, get jealous, feel superior… none of it is good. But I keep going back for more…

  14. says

    I cleared out my friend’s list several month’s ago and it’s so nice not to see so much of the negative, draining stuff that was on their before. I basically only use FB to promote my blog and keep in touch with a couple of friends.

  15. says

    I love this post. It resonates perfectly with my thought about facebook. I only made a facebook account as another way to keep up with family members that went abroad. People post about the most trivial, meaningless things on facebook.

  16. says

    I TOTALLY have some people still friended because I couldn’t care less if we are really friends and I may even be unable to stand them. But their lives are too juicy and give me too much material for bitching to unfriend them. Oops.

  17. says

    I like to keep my friends below 200. I try to keep it to family members, people I work with, and actual FRIENDS. I delete people regularly. Well, I saw a girl at a party I unfriended about ooooh 2 years ago. (Not because she did something wrong or I didn’t like her, just because we weren’t friends- we had totally different lives.) I said, “Hi! Oh my gosh I didn’t recognize you, how are you?” And she goes, “Maybe that’s because you unfriended me on Facebook and you haven’t seen any pictures of me in awhile,” with this HUGE snarky grin on her face. I was so taken aback because I wasn’t used to people talking to me that way. I said. “Hmmmm possibly!? So how are you doing,” trying to let her think she didn’t phase me, but she did. She walked away. I am still obviously mad about it. Why would someone get so upset that someone who they never see and who they are never friends with unfriended them on FB???? Sorry, I think I just turned this comment into a therapy session.

  18. says

    I am going to get some serious hater for this, but here goes it.

    When I’m feeling overwhelmed by FB stuff/peeps/etc, I look at whose birthday it is today and if I wouldn’t wish them a ‘Happy Birthday’ in real life or via social media…. I take the plunge and ‘unfriend’ them.

    Harsh? Perhaps, but it works.

    :)

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