My Dear Morning Workout,
Although I wish for you to burn slowly in the depths of a fiery hell when you awake me at 5:20 each morning, you know it’s not really me talking.
I don’t mean those nasty words, Morning Workout.
I promise I’ll work harder at controlling my temper towards you.
I love you, Morning Workout, because you get my day started on the right foot. You get my mind in the right place in order for me to conquer the day. I’m a happier girl when our time together is through.
I adore you, Morning Workout, and when I choose to ignore you in favor of a rendezvous with your Afternoon counterpart, I think about you all day. I dislike that bitter feeling of regret, and I promise – you’re better, kinder, and more rewarding than the Afternoon. Really, you are.
You’re more peaceful than the Afternoon Workout, too. On my drive to the gym, it’s just me and the open road. Road rage and stupid college freshmen who don’t know how to cross city streets are absent. Good music plays on the radio, and I can usually wear a sweater. You know how much I love to pretend it’s Fall year round.
And, Morning Workout, you always seem to reward me with the most beautiful scenery when I’m on my way home – a kind gesture to distract me from my usually sore, sweaty body. Trust me, the Afternoon provides no such reward.
So here’s to you, Morning Workout. Here’s to the enthusiasts who embrace you and the late risers who might attempt to know you. Shake them haters off yo’ back – you and I both know how great you really are.