Not long ago, I let on that I’m not having the most “fit pregnancy.”
I just haven’t felt like it, honestly. All I want to do is sleep and snack on Doritos and not pee my pants when I sneeze. In all seriousness, the peeing thing is one reason I’ve steered clear of fitness. I either have to pee five times in an hour, or I find myself damning eternity after making any sudden movements.
But after weeks of hearing all my pregnant friends and family members say how great prenatal yoga has been for them, I decided I needed to get over my pee pants fear and
jump back on gingerly slide back on the yoga bandwagon.
I signed up for a prenatal yoga class at a local yoga studio last week, telling myself that I probably wouldn’t pee my pants in class [if I did, my pants are black, so there’s that.] And if I did need to pee, I’d just excuse myself and the class wouldn’t even notice my short absence.
It’s funny how new fears makes you forget old fears.
Because when I showed up for the class and was the first one to arrive, I thought nothing of it. I’m always the first one to arrive. I got myself set up, casually chatting with the instructor. She propped me up, and told me it was fine to close my eyes and “begin centering myself.”
After a few minutes, she broke the silence [with her totally calming yoga teacher voice] and said, “It looks like it’s going to be just us.”
I wanted to run away, but it takes me a minute and a half to get from the floor to a standing position, so that option was out. I’d never been the only person in any sort of fitness class before. I’m the person who likes to hide in the back corner and avoid eye contact. I have terrible mind-body connection, resulting in surefire awkwardness.
But there I was, alone in this yoga studio with nowhere to hide. For 75 minutes, I was to be front and center of this yoga class turned private yoga lesson. I cursed the other pregnant strangers who signed up for this class and bailed.
But, you know what? I made it. My tried and true fitness fear came to fruition, and I survived.
And because I was so nervous, I totally forgot that I had to pee.