I’ve been a SAHM mom for over a year now. While that certainly doesn’t qualify me as a subject matter expert, it does qualify me as someone who’s had more than enough time to make a few mistakes and learn from them.
7 Mistakes to Avoid as a Stay-at-Home-Mom
The days that I don’t get out of the house and do something productive are the days I want to jump off a fiery cliff and not look back. Listen, there are sick days and rainy days and lazy days, but those cannot be your normal days; for both your sake and your child’s sake, you need to get out. Even the most introverted of stay-at-home-moms will be driven to the brink of insanity if she stays inside for too long. Leave your house if for nothing more than to interact with the cashier at Kroger.
Comparing your life to the lives of your working mom friends
Stay-at-home-moms have it tough, and so do working moms. There is no harder or better or more; only different. Many of my working mom friends have house cleaners (hence, clean houses) and post status updates about LOVING every minute spent with their sweet little cherubs, while I’m over here sniff-testing baby pants and sending text messages to my other SAHM friends about my current daydream of getting a hotel room by myself one weekend.
Not putting effort into making friends who also stay-at-home
I’d be in a psych ward by now if it weren’t for my group of friends who also stay at home. The thing is, it’s not easy to put yourself out there as an adult needing new friends; it’s sometimes awkward, often anxiety provoking, feels desperate, and is super time consuming. But ultimately, it’s worth it. In all seriousness, finding my tribe was my number one priority once I decided to stay home, and it’s turned out better than I could have ever, ever imagined.
Failing to establish a budget for yourself
Because it really, really sucks having to “ask” your husband for money. I highly recommend figuring out what portion of your partner’s paycheck goes into your checking account for things like gas, admission into play areas, random chick-fil-a lunches, etc. It’s nothing extravagant, but it’s necessary (for me at least!)
Spending too much time on social media (posting or lurking)
Nothing on social media is real life, but if you spend too much time on there, you’ll start to believe otherwise. Obviously, I love social media, but when I start feeling like I’m comparing my life to someone else’s, I know it’s time to step away for a hot minute.
Pressuring yourself to be perfect
Just because you’re a stay-at-home-mom does not mean you’re a maid. You might be straight up appalled if you walked in and saw the current state of my kitchen, but whatever. This ain’t June Cleaver’s house, my friends. It’s mine, and I spend the majority of my day running from one toddler mess to another. When my husband gets home from work, he doesn’t expect a spotless house and a warm meal on the table, he expects to jump into the trenches with me until bedtime.
Feeling guilty for taking time for self-care
“But I don’t work, so I shouldn’t spend money or time on myself.” Who’s said or thought that? Probably every stay-at-home-mom since the dawn of time. I was certainly guilty of that mindset…until I stopped caring for myself and shit hit the fan. I turned into a raging lunatic in desperate need of time alone and maybe even a little indulgence (all moms deserve this, btw.) Sometimes it’s nothing a solo trip to Target can’t fix, and sometimes you need to call in the big guns so mama can drink heavily. You say potato, I say shots.
In reality, most of these suggestions can apply to anyone with offspring. Moms, your “job title” really doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, we’re all just making it up as we go along and hoping our child’s future insurance will cover therapy expenses.