How to have a Happy Marriage

I stumbled upon a “things happy married couples need to know” book, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the suggestions presented. At the turn of each page I kept thinking, “Oh good golly! I fear I’ll never be a good wife!”

Listed below are my interpretations of the gems that I took away from this award-winning piece of work.

1. If you want your husband to remain physically attracted to you, don’t be a slob when you get home from work. You can’t come home and put on stretchy pants and a sweatshirt and still expect your spouse to find you attractive.

Just another romantic evening at home.

2. Avoid letting him see you make an unflattering face. Especially in public.

3. Remember, when it comes to your outfit choice, style always wins over comfort and functionality.

*Even if it’s your 13th day of back packing through Europe and bed bugs attacked everything you packed. 

(I’m not joking about the bed bugs…)

4. Don’t be a lush. Alcohol does not flatter a lady, and certainly does not bring happiness to a marriage.

5. Respect the fact that looks are important. Remember to do your best to always wear make-up in public. You want your husband to be proud that you’re his lady!

I’m slightly appalled that I read something like this, but naturally, I had to poke fun. I don’t wear make-up all day every day, I come home and wear sweat pants after being in tights and a skirt all day, and I enjoy adult beverages.

But I’m married to my best friend, and even if my entire day at work and at school crumbles around me, all I have to do is walk in my front door to automatically feel better. (Provided that he’s home ;) )

In my opinion, a happy marriage is about laughing every day, taking the time to have meaningful conversations, expressing genuine appreciation, and being with the one soul who pushes you to be your best – even when you just want to throw in the towel and slack off.

And that’s something I’ll cheers to.

Let’s chat – What do YOU think makes a happy marriage/relationship?

Comments

    • Colleen says

      ME TOO! I get home 30 minutes before Cory and you KNOW I’m in yoga pants by the time he gets home. It’s not like I’m DROOLING and covered in crumbs wearing yoga pants – It’s just yoga pants and a comfy shirt. :)

    • Colleen says

      I’m so confused when people aren’t best friends with their spouse. I mean, clearly girl friends are a differnt kind of friend, but you’re so right! A happy realtionship HAS to be built on friendship.

  1. Ashley Cooper says

    When was this book written?! It sounds like something straight out of the 50s… but I love everything you had to say – totally agree about YOUR thoughts on how to have a happy marriage!

    • Colleen says

      Not sure when it was written – and clearly I don’t own it! – but it had a “religious undertone.” Hope married life is treating you well, Ashley!! :)

  2. says

    This book reminds me of an article one of my coworkers shared about women in the workplace, except that it was written in the 1960s. Ha!

    I think the key to a happy relationship is solid communication in all its forms – actual conversation, laughter, smiles, touch – everything!

  3. says

    too funny! for me, the key to a happy marriage is communication. my husband and i talk, laugh and joke about everything… even the not-so-fun stuff. i used to keep every little issue bottled up but have learned to share my frustrations early on. when in doubt, talk it out! :D

    • Colleen says

      YES! I couldn’t agree more. Cory and I pat ourselves on the back in regards to our communication. We talk about everything – and the not so fun stuff is the most important to talk about! I used to keep stuff bottled up too, and a few years ago my mom told me “You have to TELL him. He can’t read your mind.” Oh, duh. That made everything better :)

  4. says

    I love your take on that advice :). It seems that they focused a little too much on looks… About 80% of the time, I am already in my pajamas when my fiance comes over. I workout after work, so it’s only natural to take a shower and get comfy. I’m not going to get ready again for him, and I wouldn’t expect him to either!

  5. says

    I love this post :)

    My hubby never sees me in real clothes during the week, when he goes to work I am sporting my workout clothes, and when he gets home I am already in my sweats :) I think THAT is what leads to a happy marriage. Finding someone who loves you for who you are :)

    That and I think communication is one of the most important aspects of a marriage/relationship. If you cannot communicate with each other, what are you even doing?!

  6. says

    hahahaha this was perfect! i was just talking to my bestie about how to have a good marriage. looks like i’m going to be a complete failure because i can’t wait to get home from work and put on the biggest sweats in the world haha

  7. says

    So I saw a book review for a book that was…even worse than that stuff. It was for stay-at-home moms…so I will cut them a little slack but even in the review there was a list of 20 things that a woman should do to make her husband happy. (http://networkedblogs.com/sPkid)

    I’m not even married and I was a little offended..”Take a look in the mirror an hour before your husband comes home to ensure that you are presentable. An hour allows ample time to hop into the shower if need be.” (Ek “presentable”) I guess that’s nice and all but the list goes on and on and almost would make a woman feel guilty for not being the perfect housewife for her hubby.

    Also, you don’t even need make-up so don’t worry about it! :-)

  8. says

    Aw I love this post! I feel like you and I are very similar in many of the things that you just stated :D….which means that if (hopefully when) we meet some day we will be fabulous friends! I can’t wait to get married to my best friend…sadly we have a while haha.

  9. says

    Oh my. I am a shitty shitty wifey (according to that book).

    I’ve been married for 15 mths (which is like 20 years in celebrity terms) and our keys to success so far are LAUGHTER, honesty, not taking ourselves too seriously…ever, and making time for US.

  10. says

    Love this! And all the comments ahead of mine. I totally agree that a happy marriage is based on friendship.

    I couldn’t agree more with your statement to “express genuine appreciation.” I think it’s so important to show your appreciation of your spouse, for both the big things (support through a job loss) and the little things (changing the channel to the Today Show when he leaves the room). This is such an easy way to make a marriage happier, but can be so hard for people.

    I will admit that my husband and I have had a convo about the sweatpants thing. I’m not going to lie, I’m more attracted to my husband when he’s in a suit or dressed nicely from work than when he’s wearing the same sweatpants he’s worn for three days (with a stain) and a grungy t-shirt from middle school. And he agrees. So I’ll try to stay in my work clothes just a bit longer, even if it’s just until 10 minutes after he gets home. And we try to do a date night during the week so we go in our nice work clothes. I’ve also tried to choose “nicer” loungewear, like the yoga pants from Gap Body. Not only does my husband enjoy these, but they make me feel good too.

    • Colleen says

      I hear ya! I also do the “stay in my work clothes until he gets home” thing sometimes, too. I mean, if it’s a few extra minutes, no big deal! A few extra hours? Sorry, I’m not blogging and doing laundry in a pencil skirt ;) I also have “nice” lounge wear too – and from Gap Body! :) I feel comfortable, but I can still look like I have a figure. Best of both worlds, right?!

  11. says

    I’m shuddering at the pictures of the bed bug bites. AGH! This summer I walked out of SEVEN (yes, that’s right…. SEVEN) different hotels because of bed bugs. Immediately upon entering the room I checked for bed bugs, and had to walk out of seven different ones throughout the trip. I would’ve been a bed bug buffet If I hadn’t checked. They are a nightmare, aren’t they?

  12. says

    Haha, hilarious post! I failed everyone of those… I’m currently sitting in sweats [and often sleep in sweats], always make silly faces, comfort wins 90% of the time, make-up is worn only for those 10% of the time I’m not in sweats [if even then!]… But I’m engaged to and living with my best friend who says he loves me so I guess I must be doing something right ;P

  13. says

    Hi Colleen,

    You are so cute! Bed bugs and all! I just had a good laugh with your mom! We were comparing Brian’s Facebook post to what you write about!! I love seeing you so happy!!
    XO Aunt Janet

  14. says

    What an ADORABLE post, Colleen! I love this too because although Will & I aren’t married, I’m usually ALWAYS in sweats around him, rarely wear makeup with him, and don’t necessary try my best to look fashionable when he’s around. I feel like if he can’t love me in scrubs, then what kind of love is that!

  15. says

    Wow! That book sounds more like “looks mean everything and love is out.” I am glad you have a healthy grasp on what marriage is and should be! Being recently married to my best friend and I know we both think sweat pants are the best thing ever. Cuddle time, right? Love your attitude:)

  16. says

    WOW! That is too funny! P.s. you are adorable except maybe the bed bugs those look really painful:( I think what makes a god relationship is being able to laugh together about things you once fought about. No matter how upset I might be my boyfriend can always make me laugh, annoyingly so I might add. But in the end you should be best friends with your significant other!

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