Group Fitness is for Pretty Girls

Okay, don’t let the title fool you. I’m just as enraged and confused as you are.

This morning, I went to the gym to achieve what I like to call Jell-o Arm Status. It was achieved, but that’s besides the point.

Screen shot 2013-10-03 at 10.27.36 AM

As I was totally shredding my biceps, this (older) douche bag dude kept giving shit to every other guy that came through the room.

Hey, Mark! Glad to see you got your lazy ass outta bed this morning!

What’s up, Steve, you sonofabitch?

I was slightly annoyed, but Adam Levine was on the TV screen, so I was able to tune out most of his obnoxious bull shit. But then, I saw Paul, an older gentleman who is normally in Body Pump with me.

I gave him the Familiar Stranger Smile, and not a second later, The Douche Bag Dude approaches Paul.

Paul! My man! I’m glad to see you’re here in the weight room with the BIG BOYS and not that silly girl’s class. 

I could hear Paul laugh uncomfortably as I was laying down on the bench doing my chest presses.

Douche Bag continued, Paul – you need me to give you some real motivation. What can those girls in that class do for you besides stand there and look pretty?

I so badly wanted to swing a kettle bell and hit that guy straight in the throat, but I refrained.

I was so ticked off for some reason. Mainly because I hate douche bags who think if they simply STAND amongst the weights for an hour and talk shit, they’ve accomplished something. And secondly, dude, shut the fuck up. I’m sure every “pretty little girl” who takes Body Pump could easily kick your ass.

– end rant –


  1. says

    LOVE this! one of my biggest pet peeves in the gym! I take several group fitness classes and KNOW i could destroy most of the men standing around the weights outside. :)

  2. Lauren Harlow Helm says

    Oh girl, don’t get me started on boys at the gym… The DBD (douche bag dude) is just one of many, they come in all shapes and sizes, and they descend upon gyms across the country to spread their doucheness by way of standing around the equipment, talking or texting on their phones and man handling other bros that come in.

    Unlike you however, I no longer bite my tongue, I just told my local DBD (who was attempting to flirt)…”I just benched 85 lbs, no, I dont need your help putting those 10lb dumbbells that aren’t even mine back”

  3. says

    Damn!!! That makes me more mad than I thought possible over some douche I don’t know. GAH. Hate. Him. So. Much.

    I fully support you in your kettle ball swinging should you see that dude again!

  4. Jennifer Schoemmell says

    Love this story!! that too is what I hate about going to the gym but I manage to push though it and ignore those jerks

  5. Lexi says

    Moron. I would have liked to see you swing that kettlebell in his direction. I haven’t encountered this sort of douche nozzle in my time at the gym, but there is this one really, REALLY obnoxious guy that takes body pump (on a day I now choose to opt out of) who talks the ENTIRE time. He loads so much weight on the bar, I fear that it will cripple his 5’5″ frame, but secretly wish it does so I never have to see him in class again. *Insert evil laugh*

  6. says

    What an ass! Personally, I think the gym is the one place that should be a judgement free zone. I kind wish your dumbell “accidentally” fell on his foot or something.

  7. Lindsay says

    Wow. I would have been very irritated as well. You probably could have kicked his ass without even breaking a nail 😉

  8. says

    I am so with you on the kettle bell throat smashing. I have heard the same crap floating around my gym and it is just disgusting. All the “pretty girls” (and guys) in bodypump are doing a whole lot more for their bodies than the guys leaning casually against the weight rack and running their mouths. Whew, it seems I had a rant in me also. Thanks for that. 😉

  9. Sarah says

    I’ll be 26 in June and I can totally relate to you. Ever since I was a teenager, people have always assumed I was older. Back then I thought it was awesome, because duh, what 16 year old doesn’t want people to think she’s 21??! When I was 23, someone at work guessed I was older and simply said it’s because I have an old soul. Then it hit me. It’s a compliment if people assume your older. It’s not necessarily how you look, but how you carry yourself that gives people the impression your older. In my opinion, it’s a compliment if someone assumes your older. I held the door open for an older couple the other week and the man stopped to bless me and say that it had been too long since a young lady did something nice for him. He was shocked. He was shocked that a young lady was kind enough and thoughtful enough to simply hold the door for him and his wife. The older generations tend to think ‘young people’ are just reckless. So the next time someone assumes your older, take it as a compliment. Maybe it’s because you’ve impressed them or the way you carry yourself is admiring. I’d rather have people assume I’m older and take me seriously, then the alternative. You’re beautiful! Have a good day:)

  10. says

    That right there is part of the reason I hate going to the gym. Just mind your own damn business! Also, while I was reading this post, all I wanted to do was yell, GIRL POWER! and then kick douche bag in the crotch 😉

  11. says

    That’s not okay.

    We’ve had guys take classes for the first time at my gym, and they either complain the whole time because it’s “too hard,” or they request to leave early. Seriously. The guys that do take the classes are in great shape! And so are the girls!

  12. Janet says

    I hate it even more when that kinda guy thinks you need advice on how to do certain moves!! Like who asked you, I will ask the professional over there when I do need help.

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