Getting Back on Track

I know some people (my former self included) classify this blog as a “healthy living blog,” but I’m starting to shy away from that label and instead, referring to this as a “lifestyle blog.” Even though I do make an attempt to be healthy, I’m certainly not a pro.


I’ll put it out there and say that recently, I’ve gain a few LBs. Nothing drastic – my clothes technically still fit, but the scale doesn’t lie and I notice that I’m slightly more…soft?

I know what you’re thinking: Wahh, wahhh. Poor Colleen. She’s not fat but she thinks she is. 


FALSE! I know I’m nowhere near being overweight! I just don’t feel that awesome. I know most women will be able to identify with this, but some troll is bound to send me an email telling me how awful and vain I am (post for another day!)

Simply put: I know I’m capable of feeling better – i.e. stronger and full of more energy. It’s time to get back on track.

Here’s what I know: 

– I drink too much (and I’m not willing to give it up entirely)

– I have a raging sweet tooth

– I don’t eat foods with enough substance (i.e. PB&J all day err’day)

– I don’t drink enough water

– I’m not as energetic as I could be

– I SUCK SUCK SUCK at meal planning.

– I’ve been skipping many AM workouts because I’m lazy as hell. It literally pains me to get up at 5:20.

Here’s what I need:

– An individualized plan. Once something is written out and it’s a set goal, I have no problem sticking to it. I just can’t seem to do this for myself!

– A little help. I’ll be honest, reading all about “good foods” and “bad foods” completely overwhelms me. Everything seems to cause The Cancer, AMIRIGHT? I love Splenda, but apparently it’s killing me slowly.

– Stop comparing myself to girls and bloggers void of “soft parts.”

– Also, I have Crohn’s, so that always tends to fuck my shit up (see what I did there?) no matter what I seem to do. It’s terribly frustrating.

There’s really no point to this post (sorry) other than to just share where I’m at. Normally I wait to write about a topic once I’ve “figured it out for myself,” but not today, you lucky ducks! If you’re in the same boat, or have any tips and tricks, please share in the comment section! 


  1. says

    I think it’s good to just get it out there, even if you haven’t figured it all out yet. You don’t need to justify wanting to lose weight. Wanting to feel better is the perfect reason to reassess things. If you don’t know where to ask, I know a number of bloggers/RDs offer nutrition plans. You could always reach out to them to see if that’s something you’d want to do. I am actually meeting with a sports nutritionist today because I’ve lost all direction and look forward to leaving with a set plan.

  2. says

    Don’t freak yourself out with good and bad foods. Just to start, play it simple and eat more fruits and veggies, less food out of a bag. Take Cooper on an extra long walk, that way you don’t feel bad about skipping your AM workout, and you get to spend some time with that lovely pooch. And for the moment, stay away from the skinny bloggers! They also freak me out with their perfect post-baby bodies, that look a million times better than I do and I haven’t had a kid…

    But yeah, just go back to basics. Try to drink a glass of water before meals, try to move your body at least 4 days a week (#motivationtoMOVE) and eat more greens. Or at least a PB&J with a banana.

  3. says

    Summer is DEF the hardest. So much good drinks and food. I just signed up for a 10k (running blows!) but it makes me look forward to a new goal. AND I am not only running to prepare, I’m doing more crosstraining and weights to be stronger.

  4. Kelsey Yoki says

    Just take it one thing at a time, and start with the easiest changes! I needed to drink more water, so I went out and bought a fun new water bottle. For some reason, it actually helped me! And late spring this year, my workouts were harder to come by. Easiest way to amp it up a bit? Print off a calendar and try to schedule weekly workouts. I’d have a schedule to look at, but knew some days it wouldn’t be happening. Days I worked out = smiley face. Days I didn’t = X. It helped me to get a little more active.

    I’m having issues with my “clean eating”. We are pretty good at our meal planning but I always feel I’m not (A) buying enough food to fuel or (B) that they are not the best choices! Wherever you find help with this, I want in! Haha. =)

  5. says

    I’m in the same boat as you – I decided to get a Fitbit to track my steps, and that’s made a huge difference. That way, even days when I don’t make it to the gym, I have a motivation to walk to work, or go for a walk after dinner, or just up my energy level in general. I’m like you in that I do best if I have a plan – but for me, this gives me a backup for the days that I don’t have the time or energy to make a plan.

  6. Taryn says

    Oh my! I am absolutely in the same boat! I’ve been feeling absolutely awful about myself lately. I know that I’m not ‘fat’ and my friends and family jump all over me when I say I’m getting ‘fat’ but I also know that my clothes are fitting more snug and I just feel BLEH!

    After recently graduating from law school, moving back to my home town (to live WITH my parents, no less) after living on my own for three years, starting a new law firm job and studying for the bar exam, my healthy lifestyle has gone ENTIRELY out the window. First it was endless amounts of alcohol to ‘celebrate’ the end of law school but that quickly turned into stress eating boxes of cereal and bags of chocolate chips whilst studying. I try to justify it by saying I’ll get on track when the test is behind me (only 13 more days!!) and that this is no time to be stressing about anything other than the test.

    A few weeks ago I did get motivated to start running again and was getting in a good 3 or 4 mile run a couple days a week. Of course just when I find myself in a good groove we get nailed with a killer heat wave that killed any motivation I did have. Girl just can’t win! Just do what you can, when you can. Every small step helps!

  7. says

    You should email a blogger that does fitness plans to individualize something for you. I know Tina (Best Body Fitness) does individualized plans and does some check ins with food/etc. Oh, and I’ve always had “soft bits”. :)

  8. says

    I can totally relate. I am in grad school and during the school year (living at home), it’s as if the Oreo’s magically appear in my mouth. Stress does funny things to all of us.

  9. says

    Acknowledging & writing down that you WANT to change it an awesome step, congrats! I’m a huge “planner” so planning meals & workouts for the week always helps me stay on track! Good luck & I’m sure you’ll succeed!

  10. Erin says

    Love your blog! I highly recommend trying to find an RD to meet with…I know they can be expensive, I see one through a local hospital and if your insurance does not cover it, they offer a “reduced rate” for self pay. Seeing one was the BEST thing I have ever done. Granted I had to for an ED but I felt like I had no direction or any idea how to eat and my rd helped me tremendously with this…I eat more balanced now than ever before. I feel the same way as you that it seems like splenda/everything causes cancer and she helps me with some of these fears as well…but I did end up giving up splenda :( Good luck and let us know how it goes!

  11. says

    I could have written this blog post… it’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about the last few weeks! I’ve fallen off the wagon, and while I’m not over-weight, I’ve just put back on a few ell-bees that I had not been missing and I generally feel a little softer – in a bad way. So, here’s what I’m doing:

    1) tracking my Weight Watchers points again – I’m not religious, but if I’m thinking about it, it keeps me accountable, and generally keeps me from grabbing that cookie or whatever is calling my sweet tooth.

    2) Cutting week-night alcohol. And by that, I mean Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights. I like my wine with Sunday dinner and I like to have a drink (or several) on Thursday nights as Fridays are a bit more relaxed work-wise, but I’ve calculated that even just by cutting my wine or whatever on those three nights, I’m cutting a lot of calories

    3) Commit to my workouts. It’s an hour of my day. I cannot (can. not.) do morning workouts – so evenings it is. I have to go. The end.

    I feel your pain, girlfriend! You can do it!

  12. says

    I can totally relate to that feeling of just being “softer” than typical or (personally) ideal. I would suggest just starting with one thing at a time. Maybe for this first week you focus on drinking 8 glasses of water every day, and then next week you add in the goal of doing 3-4 workouts. Once those become a habit, add in another goal, maybe eating a fruit or veggie with each meal…When I go that route I quickly reform those habits, and though a week seems like a long time, it’s much more effective then going all in or throwing in the towel.

  13. Esther says

    I noticed recently that I was eating dessert almost every night. Not fruit, but ice cream, cookies, candy, etc. I don’t want to give it up completely (or even close to completely), so I set myself a goal of how many nights per month I thought was reasonable to have real dessert. I figured out how many days I knew I was going to have dessert in a given month (my birthday, my husband’s birthday, friend’s shower, etc), and then the remaining number of nights I can use whenever the urge strikes me…the caveat being that I know when I run out, I run out. So it’s helped me to stop and say “do I *really* want ice cream for the third night in a row? or will it actually be more of a treat if I have to wait a couple of days for it, and eat something else instead if I’m really hungry?” So far that seems to be working!

  14. says

    I know exactly what you mean. There are times I feel like I’m literally a walking disaster… too much alcohol and cheetos (yeah, I still eat those. I’m five.), so I have to really think about what I’m doing. It all pretty much ends in me drinking a glass of cheap wine with a bag of puffed orange junk, though. 😉

    But for real, some days my gut is seriously telling me to chill the eff out. I cut back on processed foods and voila! Semi-normal gut. I can’t really cut back on the alcohol, so I’m not going to push it.

  15. Amelia says

    The one question you have to ask yourself is: are you happy?

    We all have different goals, whether it be career, fitness, or life associated. I am just now getting all of my priorities in line to reach my goals and it has taken me a good 4 months or so to attempt at accepting it all. Every time I think about putting myself down for enjoying a drink, eating too much chocolate (or whatever indulgence you have), thinking that I have gotten “softer” or whatever, I am reminded of this past Christmas. Quite frankly, it sucked. Why? Because I didn’t enjoy myself. Not only was I going through a ton of stress at work, I was trying to create this portrait of a perfect person for everyone to see. (What is that anyway? And I cared TOO much about what others thought.) In short, I didn’t enjoy the day or week for that matter, didn’t partake in typical Christmas traditions (food/fun) and it was all because of caring TOO much what everyone around me though. Really stupid and I was not happy.

    Today, priorities have changed and my goals have been refocused. I am MUCH happier and would rather enjoy a meal out with my husband, a glass of wine or two, and a big ole scoop of ice cream with friends, accepting my abs and thighs just how they are, vs. having ripped abs and surviving on asparagus and chicken.

    Do what makes YOU happy, not what makes others happy. You are gorgeous!

  16. says

    I think we all have our moments of this. And it’s hard when you write a blog all about healthy living when you feel like you aren’t healthy living. For example my morning breakfast of cramming a donut in my food hole was not healthy living. But I’m also human and there are days when it pains me to turn on a stove so a donut it is!

    I am not by any means as fit as some in this space but I’m doing my best and I’ve lost 50 pounds so I would say to the haters….go chew ice I got other stuff to do :)

    Knowing you want to change is the first big step! You got it Girlie!

  17. says

    Start simple and it’ll get better from there! I get overwhelmed if I start giving myself all these “rules” and things I must start doing and must stop doing. Focus on more greens, more water, less sugar, and more movement, and I’m sure you’ll be good to go! 😉

  18. says

    I’ve learned to embrace SOME soft spots 😉 hehe but I hear you about drinking too much and having a raging sweet tooth. I’ve definitely become more relaxed on the whole “healthy eating” thing but I also try to stay on track when I can, just because I FEEL better and I have more energy! Good luck!! (P.S. If you ever want a workout buddy, let me know!)

  19. says

    Oh, girl, I feel you. I’d gotten so far off track that my husband had to have a conversation with me. I wrote about it here:

    I totally just let myself go a little bit and didn’t realize how much I was drinking, how much I was eating. I also made a conscious decision to relax on the gym–but I think I relaxed a little too much–we’re talking gym sabbatical.

    I actually reached out to the AMAZING Amanda Kraft ( who was my wedding photographer and is now a health coach. She’s seriously amazing. In one conversation with her I felt so much better. I think you’d really like her style–she’s just so down-to-earth. If you want me to put the two of you in touch, let me know, I’m happy to do it.

    In addition, I’ve decided to get my butt back to the gym, nothing too crazy but just do some stuff.

    AND I signed up for Weight Watchers online which has actually been pretty great. I’m doing it pretty loosely but I can already feel a huge difference. It’s just given me a frame of reference and made me stop and think before I eat. But, I can still live my life. For me, awareness is KEY.

    Sending lots of body love your way!!

  20. says

    Why is living a healthy life so hard?? I feel like I JUST get a grasp on what I’m doing, then someone is there to tell me I’m doing it all wrong. Or I freak out on myself with anxiety & doubt. Its nice to see that there are other people out there that don’t have their shit together 24/7!

  21. says

    I definitely would have less “soft” spots if I gave up drinking and whiter teeth from all that red wine. Buuuut it’s not going to happen. So instead I added a walk after dinner each night. Its the small things!

  22. says

    Girl, I totally feel ya! I actually need to gain weight, but it still doesn’t mean I LIKE that extra softness and the uncomfortableness of clothes on the verge of tightness. I totally need individualized plans. I think everyone does. I suck at meal planning. And totally laughed out loud at the eCard about pasta! That’s SO me!

    I’m glad you don’t have it figured out, cuz I don’t either. 😉

  23. says

    I feel the exact same way right now. My roommate (who is a guy) said the other night that he has “never seen a girl house a [family size] box of duncan hines brownies like i can in one night” um, yeah. that bad.

    my best advice to you is to get on a good sleep schedule. If i get up early and can fall asleep early, i’m not up at night rummaging around the kitchen. and if i can fall asleep slightly hungry, i will lose weight. easier said than done but i think i’m finally getting on a good schedule.

  24. says

    I swear, I JUST wrote a blog about this the other day!! The whole being a lifestyle blogger with healthy living blogging thrown in there AND needing to drop a few pounds! Like you, I am looking for some sort of “plan” to follow cause I tend to do better that way. My biggest issue though is eating too much. I freaking love food and lots of it!! I have an appetite like a quarter back but want to look like a fitness model(welllll, not really!!) I just want my muffin top to stay ON my muffin and not my stomach. Sigh.

  25. Sarah says

    As I inhale my Subway sandwich….let me tell you, I’ve definitely fallen into a slump with the whole ‘healthy living balance complexity thing.’ Some days are way easier than others and some days I just want a damn bag of Doritos & a Diet Dr. pepper for fucks sake. I find that I eat whatever I want for breakfast, usually an english muffin w/ an egg or pb, in winter usually oatmeal. At lunch, since I’m at work, I bring my own lunch & it’s always pretty healthy. But when I get home from work, all bets are off. I’m usually really hungry & too tired to put together something worthy. Then I feel like I just threw away my whole day of ‘healthy’ eating and bust into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Terrible cycle. My soft areas are definitely getting softer and I’m not as happy/confident as I could be & should be. I’d be interested in seeing what sort of things you’re doing to get yourself back where you want to be & are comfortable!

  26. says

    I am super anal retentive and really like a plan too (OMFG a list?!) so I agree, put your plan in writing, stick to it b/c you’ll feel accomplished and give yourself a cheat day or two and a night or three of drinking. Having just had a baby, I am with you. Hard not to compare but everyone is different, so what works best for you, which you seem to have already locked down!

  27. says

    I think, as women, our weight always fluctuates. I try to remember that when I’m up a few pounds, that in a few months, I will most likely be down a few pounds. Stress, hormones, etc. seem to affect me a little too often! I compare myself to other bloggers too, though, and I need to stop. Oh, and no matter how much I work out, I will always have soft parts. One of the trainers at my gym said in order to make every little bit of fat melt away, I’d have to give up all sugar, carbs and dairy. Um, no thank you. She agreed with me, thank goodness!

  28. Katelyn Rose says

    I am in the *exact* same position right now!!!! I swear your post could be written by me….minus the Crohn’s (poor you!!!) If you figure out how to get back on track, be sure to post it cuz I need to know too :)

  29. Billie says

    Yep. This is my life. And I think in my case it’s also largely related to the fact that I view every meal as a special do-not-know-when-your-life-will-end-or-when-you’ll-be-able-to-eat-this-again-in -any-case-it’s-totally-awsome occasion, i.e. I never stop when I’m full and always overeat. I don’t know your fitness routine but I just joined a new gym and that has helped me tremendously to be more motivated to work out. They have tons of classes and I’ve realized I’m just better at working out if somebody shouts at me to suck it up.

  30. says

    I am just getting back into things so it’s nice! A few of the “rules” / “habits” I reinstated that are really helping with staying on track: A) No weekday drinking, I heart booze but cutting it out Monday – Thur and honestly normally Sun – Thur makes me feel way better / make better choices B) I made a big breakfast frittata (eggs, beans, vegetables, can of tomatoes, spices) on Sunday with 8 – 10 eggs and then cut it up into 6 – 7 pieces, makes for a super easy morning breakfast C) Don’t eat out for lunch (this is never a problem for me but I know for some people it is) – it says money and calories!! And challenge yourself to clear pee!! Carry around water and constantly fill up!!

  31. says

    Oh, I can definitely relate! Especially in the last month or so, I feel like everything is becoming squishy-er for some reason! I don’t have any big revelations to share, but I have tried to keep up with my workouts even though I don’t feel like they’re doing anything for me right now!

  32. says

    I think we need each other right now. Except replace PB&J with chocolate covered almonds – the balance is applesauce for me haha. It’s a fruit AND all I have to do is remove the lid off of it! I have been SO tired lately, that all I want to do is lie around instead of workout. If you find some perfect solution to this problem, please tell me. And I suck at meal planning too. I have a fridge full of veggies to use, but like I said, the choc almonds are just that much easier…and enjoyable.

  33. says

    Hey Colleen,

    that just sounds so familiar to me! Story of my life:
    I am dealing with ulcerative colitis (so I understand what it means to have Crohn’s)
    I am struggeling with my weight (at the moment due to my ongoing cortisone treatment)
    Eating (and everything related) is a constant issue
    I love my drinks too much 😉 (and won’t give that up entirely)

    Everything improved after changing to a clean eating lifestyle. I’m not 100% eating clean (there are just too many nice cocktails there) but I would say even 90% eating clean really made the difference. And I do not crave chocolate anymore which was basically a daily indulgence before. Tosca Reno provides meal plans which I find quite easy to follow.
    I follow your blog for a while now and I love your style! I was so keen to watch your House Hunting episode but it is not available in Germany! Fail!

    Hope you get better soon! Juli

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