Dating: It’s Hard. Sort Of.

Yesterday I had more than one conversation about how dating is hard work. It was funny because now that I’m an old married hag, people rarely ask me about dating since I’ve been “off the market” for quite some time.

Oh, but like an elephant, I never forget – and here’s what I remember working quite well.

When you meet a guy you’re interested in, go for it! Ladies, we can vote and wear pants – stop acting like you need to wait around in your petticoat for your suitor to come to your front door.

I asked Cory for his number, and I asked him to hang out for the first time (as seen here.)

What a tangled web we weave, when we first deceive is a saying I never fully appreciated until I tried to impress Cory when I told him, Oh yeah – I love watching football! That was a bold-faced lie I told to a guy I wanted to date, and it put me in a really awkward position the following Sunday when he invited me to watch the game.

I had no idea what was going on – when to cheer or when to “COMEON, REF!” I actually had to hide in the bathroom and call the biggest football fan I know for some guidance: my mother.

Over 5 years later, Cory still jokes about being terribly disappointed with the real Colleen ;)

Giants/Skins game September 11, 2011 (aka forever making up for my white lie)

Letting go of the cool factor also helps a great deal. Personally, I don’t like to learn new things in front of people – it’s my neurotic side that prefers to appear in the know at all times. But it’s different with Cory; I’ve  learned to take my guard down and allow him to teach me things – even if I look like an idiot in the process.

Don’t ditch your friends. It’s so easy to create your own little world with your main squeeze. Been there, done that – and it’s difficult to remedy. It’s important to keep friends in your lives because it helps keep your relationship healthy and balanced.

Clearly there are more serious factors that help make dating less stressful, but I think these are easy things to keep in mind :)

Love each other, my friends!

Let’s chat – Share your best dating tips!

PS – Don’t forget to enter my Sparkly Soul giveaway!

Comments

  1. says

    Love this post! I’ve been dating the same guy for just over two years now. My biggest advice to those who are just starting, or looking, is to be yourself from Day 1 and be honest about what you want in a relationship. Life is too short to waste time with someone who doesn’t want the same things as you.

  2. says

    Megan took charge too, as if anyone who knows her would acted shocked. A year and a half and a ring, house, and car…. I’d say she did okay :)

    Good point about not ditching friends. I still have friends who sequestor themselves for however long, then come back once the relationship is done. If someone allows you to become a hermit, then it’s obviously not healthy.

  3. says

    Don’t play games – just be real! So many times girls think WAY TOO MUCH into stuff. My current husband used to live with 4 other guys before we got married and I was around them all a lot. I heard the kind of stuff they talked about and trust me it wasn’t “omg I saw her today and the way she looked at me I couldn’t figure out if she was mad or sad.” Guys are very simple creatures and often don’t think so much into little things as we’d like to think they do. Relax, and be yourself…and if a guy doesn’t appreciate it, he ain’t worth havin!

  4. Kelly says

    I think the best advice to give is to remember that your boyfriend is also your friend. More often than not, he’s your best friend. If you can’t talk to them about your rough day or have little jokes, you’re relationship won’t survive. My boyfriend and I were friends for 3 years before we started dating. Because we were friends first, it created the most incredible relationship!

  5. says

    I also made the first move with my husband by emailing him. He claims that he was working on an email and had been editing it a few times and thus would have contacted me. He also likes to point out that we met three or four times before I even remembered his name.

    Whatever, dude! I still made the first move, and it worked out beautifully for the both of us!

  6. says

    THANK YOU for the “don’t ditch your friends” tip. I hate, hate, hate when girls put all their eggs in one basket, never speak to their friends bc they’re all wrapped up in a relationship, and then break up with the guy and wonder why she has no support. it’s sad. :(

    I giggled out loud at the football story… it’s still my favorite. ;)

  7. says

    I think the best advice is to keep your friends.. Oh yea.. and

    Don’t get your friends too involved in your relationship, talking to them and asking them for advice is fine, but there is a fine line between asking someone for advice and suffocating them with your relationship problems. :)

  8. says

    “Ladies, we can vote and wear pants – stop acting like you need to wait around in your petticoat for your suitor to come to your front door.”–my favorite line this morning. So funny! :) My Grandma and I were just talking about this at lunch yesterday and how times have changed so much. She said they would have never even thought of calling a guy.

  9. says

    I would say another tip is not to overthink these–particularly when it comes to texting. I liked this guy once and I would show my friend my text before I sent them to him because I was CONVINCED I would send him something that would hint I was some stalker-crazy-lady. Looking back, he clearly did not have the same text-anxiety with all the “Yo”s that made it into his messages. Best advice is just to chill out.

  10. says

    I love this post! I just started dating someone new (squee!) and things are going really well, but it’s hard not to get all up in my head about it. I think the best rule when you’ve started to see someone that you really like is just to try really hard not to overthink things. Chances are, he’s on the same wavelength as you so there’s no need to stress yourself out about the amount of time between when he reads your text and when he responds to it (damn you, iMessage read notifications!)

  11. says

    Great tips! I’ve been with the same guy for almost 7 years so I don’t know if my tip has any credibility. But I’ll tell you regardless. ;) It would be to let the other person be who they are and let yourself to be who you are. The point of a relationship is not to be the same person, but rather two people who learn from each other and grow together in parallel.

  12. Jamie says

    Love this post! You have always told me…if you’re interested- go for it! (Ask to be their friend on Facebook! haha) Also, thanks for sharing Cory that night. That picture was pre ‘throw Colleen down on the dance floor’. GOOD TIMES.

  13. says

    Cute post! Relationships can be rocky in the beginning finding the balance between the new boyfriend and your girlfriends… I’m so happy that after making that mistake time and time again, I blended the two worlds into one and now my fiance loves my girlies and vice versa :P Biggest dating tip: Follow your heart and don’t let your worries weigh you down… If you never try you’ll never know!

  14. says

    Hey! I was not going to comment but your post made me laugh and have a little hope at the same time. Dating…I really dislike it. Why? Because I work in social services, I’ve seen and heard so much. Also when you arrive at your late twenties, its not as fun as it was in the past. Too many expectations that ppls have…I would say it is mutual. In my opinion in the past year I have discovered that men in there early 30yrs, well the ones that I have come across are either emotionally unavailable or do not want to grow up. Not to mention having my mom bother me about my love life lmao!! I really don’t mean to be a party popper.

    Have a great weekend :)

    • Colleen says

      Oh, Krystal, I agree. It gets harder as we get older, especially if you’re in a helping profession (I work with incarcerated individuals, os I can relate with that!) Tell your mom to leave you alone LOL! :) Have a great weekend!

  15. says

    I am not currently in a relationship, but the last one that I was in I did “start”…:) He was a bit shy and a little out of his element, but adorable. :) He was a great guy and still is. We ended up being best friends. He actually just got married a few months back. When we met, he had to break down a HUGE wall. Bless his heart, he stuck with me for two years. I had been extremely hurt and he helped me see that I could fall in love again……and be myself. I really do thank him for that. :)

    • Colleen says

      Thanks for the heads up about the spam, Brandi! :) I’m glad the man you’re talking about helped you realize such wonderful things. What a blessing!

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