You’ll flash back to being 13 and wear pads again. Not because you’re bleeding, but… you’ll still need ‘em. If you haven’t been there yet, I won’t ruin all the surprises for you.
You’ll consider purchasing adult diapers. You don’t know how many times I’ve read about buying Depends, but it’s something I really just can’t bring myself to do. I breathed a sigh of relief after talking to my cousin who just gave birth, and she assured me that they are not necessary. Suck it, Pinterest lists.
You’ll sleep with approximately 900 pillows and barricade yourself from your spouse. I have three pillows for my head/back, one for between my legs, and two pillows for each side of my body. [I’m pretty sure I look like I’m wrestling an anaconda every time I attempt to roll over.] I’m a hardcore spooner, but ain’t nobody got time for that these days.
My friend, Caitlin, suggested buying a body pillow very similar to this one, and I’m kicking myself for never getting around to ordering it. If you still have enough time in your pregnancy left to justify the purchase, I’d DO IT.
haters gonna hate // cookies gonna bake #newlifemotto
You’ll make weird noises. And I don’t mean the inventible farting and burping. I’m taking about grunting like an old man every time you sit down, stand up, or roll over.
You’ll spend an ungodly amount of time watching your belly. Once it gets to the point where you can see your belly moving when the baby moves [which is so cool, yet so weird], you’ll just sit and stare waiting for it to happen again. Sometimes you stare at yourself when you’re alone, annnnd sometimes you’ll be in a business meeting…
You’ll legit pee your pants at least once. It’s true. Wait for it.
Your ankles will disappear. Dude. Cory and I were in the car for several hours last weekend, and when we got to our destination and I looked down at my feet, I gasped. My ankles were gone, and my feet looked like a popped tub of rolls stuffed into my Toms. It was unsightly to say the least.
You will be so excited. Think of the most excited you’ve ever been. Now multiply that by a million. It’s no secret that I’m not a glowy pregnant lady; I really haven’t enjoyed pregnancy. But I promise, the closer you get to the end, the pure excitement overrides all the pad wearing and weird noise making and uncomfortable sleeping and you’re left finding yourself counting down the days; not because you’re miserable and you want it to be over, but because you simply cannot wait to meet your little one. It all becomes happy and exciting, even when you pee a little.