Totally Truthful Thursday

// Jack got his first cold and is so miserable. I feel so badly for him! (And I feel badly for me; sucking snot out of a kid’s nose is the grossest.)

// On a happier note, Cory and I are all about our date nights. We’ve implemented a strict bi-weekly date night where Cory’s parents so kindly come over to watch Jack while we go out to dinner and enjoy an hour or two without a baby. This week we went to Bonefish and I ate all the bang bang. 


// Jack is now refusing to take a bottle and it’s driving me out of my ever-loving mind. Up until about 4 months, he had no problem with it, but now he acts like he has no idea what to do with it. It’s causing me great anxiety because we have a few events coming up in October that will require me to be away from him for more than 3 hours, and of course I’m convinced he’ll starve to death. HELP!

// I have two “beyond the blog” articles out this week, and I’m proud of them! One is in defense of the Millennials on Best Kept Self, and one is about why I need my childless girlfriends more than ever on Scary Mommy. (PS. getting published on Scary Mommy was a stretch goal of mine this year, and it blows my mind that this is article number 3!)

// Jack and Penny are totally BFFs and it’s too cute.

penny and jack

// When someone tells me that their child’s nap spans several hours, my first thought is, Do you have a pet unicorn, too? 

// My birthday is coming up (get your gifts in the mail now) and when Cory asked what I wanted, my only request was sleep. No fancy dinner, no afternoon winery trip, no Michael Kors watch…just sleep.

// Does anyone else not get periscope? I want to understand, because I’m sure it’s the next “big thing,” but I feel like I don’t have the time to add another social media platform to my life. I think that means I’m getting old.

// I’m obsessed with three ladies at the moment. Stephanie. Gervase. Jenn. Check them all out, thank me later.


Totally Truthful Thursday

// On Tuesday morning when I woke up for Jack’s 3am “breakfast” I had one of those zits on my chin that looks more like a bug bite than I zit. You know what I mean? Anyway, as I was nursing Jack I thought about how I’ve used breastmilk on his skin when he has a rash or a cut and it heals him within a matter of hours. You see where this is going don’t you? Yes, I put my own breastmilk on my face.

It worked.

// My girlfriends and I have implemented a monthly Wine Down Wednesday, and I’m confident this will save my sanity.


// Having a child has given me this newfound motivation to be healthy (obviously not too healthy ^^)  It’s so strange, but I’m now constantly thinking about what I’m putting in my (and subsequently Jack’s) body. I bought a juicer and I’m more excited than I probably should be. I love you, Amazon Prime.  If you’re into juicing, I’m in the market for any and all resource recommendations! 

// I posted this video earlier in the week about my experience with Jack’s new Newton crib mattress. In it, I mention my genuine concern about Jack rolling over in his sleep and being face-down. The morning after I posted this video, Cory went into Jack’s nursery after we heard him on the monitor, and he was face-down and fully swaddled. I am SO THANKFUL he was sleeping on the Newton mattress. I’m not even exaggerating, this mattress is amazing.

// It’s so odd that I feel alone while I’m home all day with Jack, but when Cory gets home, I just want five minutes by myself. How does that even make sense?!

// Real talk: this week has been shitty in the SAHM department. I have a Stage 5 Clinger baby, and he throws a major fit whenever I put him down (which is unlike him.) I think he may be starting to teethe, and I’m pretty sure I’m handling it like he’s going away to college next week. THEY GROW UP SO FAST.



// I’m so ready for it to be Friday afternoon.

Totally Truthful Thursday

// After not working out for almost a year, I knew I’d be sore after my first Body Pump class. The part of the equation that I failed to calculate was the fact that I’d have to carry around a 14.5 pound baby following said Body Pump class. Woof.

// I finished Friday Night Lights and I have a few things to say about it: I have a void in my life the size of Tim Riggins and Coach Taylor, I’ve decided that I want to be Tami Taylor when I grow up, and I’m now saying Texas Forever at totally inappropriate times.


(Thank God this girl will process my feelings with me.)

// Come 2:00 each day, I start day dreaming about drinking wine. I really shouldn’t drink on the job, but as soon as Cory get home, I get pourin’.

// I’m on the planning committee for a “young alumni” homecoming-type event for Longwood that will take place during Oktoberfest this year, and I’m super pumped about it. The sweet event organizer created a Facebook group for the committee members and asked everyone to introduce themselves with their names, year of graduation, involvement on campus, and their favorite part of Oktoberfest. Everyone was super professional — until I came along.


// If you follow me on Instagram, this is old news BUT – this weekend, when it was approximately eight thousand degrees, Cory and I went to a Flying Squirrels game. I asked Cory to stop at a drug store on the way out so we could pick up a fan in hopes of keeping Jack from melting. When he came out with a miniature box fan, I about died. I had something slightly smaller in mind, but thanks to Cory, everyone in section 205 stayed nice and cool (just kidding, we all had swamp ass.)


// We’re flying to Pensacola, Florida next week. “We’re” as in, with a baby. God help us.

Totally Truthful Thursday

1. For the past few days, I have been somewhat allergic to the gym. Meaning, when I think about it, my body starts hurting and I decide it’s better to just stay in bed until 6:30.

2. We recently went antiquing, and Cory was reminded of why we can’t have nice things or go nice places (read: I love any that is inappropriate.)

3. I know it’s kind of early, but I am in desperate need for some creative ideas for a Halloween costume. I’m not above being festive and slutting it up, but I normally feel awkward when I’m half naked in public/like an idiot when I say “I’m a cat! Get it? I have on a leotard, heels, and kitty headband!” 

4. THIS article made me LOL.

5. Cory and I are currently binge-watching Orange is the New Black. I wasn’t hooked by the first episode, but now that we’re a few deep, I’m obsessed. I love/hate that at the end of each episode, I’m like, Okay – just one more. 



6. I’ve not yet run to my local Starbucks for my beloved PSL – and it’s been super difficult. It need it to be cooler. I need to be wearing boots. It needs to feel like fall. I am so weird.

7. My parents looked so good this past weekend!

8. My current life struggle: On Fridays, I LOVE Fridays…

…On Saturdays, I HATE Fridays.

Cory was away a few weekends ago. This was my response to “how was ladies’ night?”

9. I’m in this phase of life where I’m really okay with myself. And it feel awesome.

If you remember this post from last year, you know it’s something I’ve been battling with for a while. Little situations recently have reminded me of how proud of myself I am. It feels good to feel good! ;)

10. This makes me laugh every.single.time I see it.

Totally THANKFUL Thursday

I know it’s normally Totally Truthful Thursday, but you know what? I have a lot to be thankful for this week (read: always) – and clearly I’m a sucker for alliteration ;)

  • My husband, duh. He’s the best – seriously. He makes me laugh every single day, he’s smart as all get out, and he can pretty much do anything. I simply adore him.

Yes, he’s building our deck. No, he’s never built one before. Yes, he’s amazing.

  • Genuine friendships - I’m so lucky to have a generous handful of people who I genuinely trust, laugh with, and can simply be myself around.

Only a lucky few can handle this much weird. 

  • Our neighbors - OH MY GOD we have the best neighbors ever. More times that I can count, I’ve said to Cory, Seriously. How did we get this lucky?


Not to mention, our entire neighborhood is amazing. Example: I drive down the street waving to kids…and enjoy it. Who am I?

  • My health - There’s not a day that passes when I don’t thank The Big Guy for my able body and mind.
  • Being DONE with grad school this upcoming Monday.

  • Contacts, tampons, and birth control – because they make my life better.
  • Our DVR - How else would I watch shows that come on after 9 PM?
  • Google Maps and GPS – For without those two inventions, I would most likely be a hermit.
  • My jeans still fitting - because I’ve missed more workouts than I care to admit.
  • For Sweet Frog not being within walking distance of my house - because then I would definitely have to omit the previous thankful statement.

  • Tomorrow being Friday. Enough said.

*Tell me something you’re thankful for! :)

Totally Truthful Thursday

  • I could never be a person who takes regular “outfit of the day” pictures. Not because I hate them, but because it takes me a solid 5 minutes to get a picture that I actually like. And then I shamefully admit to myself that I’m going to be late for work because I was taking pictures of myself.

  • Two weeks ago, I had a heinous sinus infection. This week, I have an upper respiratory infection. I don’t think I’ve worn make-up in like, two weeks because I feel like my entire face is chapped from constantly blowing my nose for the past 18 days.
  • Speaking of not wearing make up, I’m actually doing it more often, (even before my nose was raw.) I’m bowing down to these new Simone France products I’ve been using. Guys, this stuff serious gold. I can’t wait to write up my review for you.

#nofiltertohidezits #nomakeup #thankGODforsimonefrance!!!!

  • Not only do I use hashtags on my blog, I also use them in texts with my BFFS. Weird?
  • Get this, Emily ran her first half marathon (!!!) this weekend, and after the race, a reader stopped her and noticed her from this blog! She’s the second friend who’s been noticed in public. Have I ever been spotted by a reader? No.
  • My concern is that on the off (way, way off) chance that someone ever notices me from this blog, it’ll be on a Sunday when I’m grocery shopping, un-showered, and in the most unflattering clothes. I’m so vain, but it’s the truth.

Totally Truthful Thursday.

1. I ate three huge cookies last night while catching up on The Biggest Loser. It feels good for now, but once they get to the makeover episode, I feel shameful and switch to gum chewing.

2. I’ve been married for (almost) a year and a half, and my email address is still colleen.maiden I’m certain that this is unacceptable, but it feels like such a pain in the ass to change.

3. Bad dreams affect me for like, hours, after I wake up. Jamie and Emily, I hope you’re not really mad at me in real life. I also hope there is not a rabid raccoon in my closet in real life.

4. I feel unfeminine when I admit that I couldn’t care less about celebrating Valentine’s Day.

5. It’s such a pet peeve of mine when people say, “I could care less.” COULDN’T!!! If you’re expressing your apathy about an issue, you could not care any less! If you COULD care less, then you OBVIOUSLY care. Random rage. I apologize. 

6. I would sleep with socks on if Cory didn’t think it was gross.

7. My mom and I talk at least twice a day and my Dad thinks it’s ridiculous. He says, “What could you two possibly have to talk about now??” Um, everything, Dad. Everything.

8. At my new gym, I am always the first person to show up to 6 AM fitness classes. I remain nervous until another person walks in the room.

9. I’ve written a serious post about struggling with anxiety, but I’m anxious to publish it. Ironic.

10. I’ve found these two blogs recently and I love them! I think you will, too!

Totally Truthful Thursday

1. Real thought: Seriously, how did I maintain an active social life in college? New Years Eve was a total blasty blast, but I seriously have a hard making a sprightly comeback after a night of heavy alcohol consumption.

2. Cory and I now go to the same gym. For some reason, this is making getting up at 5:20 super challenging. When we were separately responsible for making it to our own workouts, it was a different story. But now? We play the half-awake do you want to go? game. Spooning and an extra hour of sleep tends to reign victorious. This is something we’re working on.

3. Last night, Cory gave Campbell a shower. Not our brightest decision.

No, I did not take actual photos of that event.

4. Is anyone else ready for good TV to start existing again? Good gracious, there is nothing to watch. It’s almost making me want to finish unpacking and/or be productive after dinner. Key word: almost.

5. Speaking of good television – I CAN’T WAIT FOR SUNDAY!!!!

6. My mom overheard some friends discussing their annoyance about Facebook’s privacy settings. They were outraged that nothing is “private anymore.” A brilliant dude said, Here’s the policy: if you want to keep something private, don’t put it on Facebook. Amen, brotherman.

7. Stop flooding your Instagram with “selfies” while pretending to show off your stud earrings or something equally unnoticeable.  If you want people to comment about how great (you obviously think) your face looks, just say it.

8. Do you know who I adore? THIS LADY.

9. Is it Friday yet?

Totally Truthful Thursday

- We close on the house this Monday. I AM SO EXCITED.

– That said, you never realize how much shit you own until you need to fit all of it into boxes. (I can imagine this problem magnifies when you have a large home and/or children. It’s just the two of us, and we’re packing up a one-bedroom apartment. I’m a #diva.)

– You know what I appreciate? Drivers who give you the “hey, thanks” wave when you let them over. As you can imagine, I judge everyone who doesn’t give such wave.

– You know what I don’t appreciate? When my a TV show runs longer than anticipated and my DVR doesn’t get the last two, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, minutes of the show. Yeah, I’m talking about a X-Factor results show.

Via the search I had to do because my DVR let me down.

– Speaking of TV, all my dreams came true. Cory + Topanga are back in action. I’m probably more excited about this than I should be. I’m also keenly aware of the fact that I will be a 25 year old woman tuning into the Disney Channel. No big deal.


– We found yet another inanimate object that Campbell fears. Flat boxes. (WTF.)

– Along with moving next weekend, Cory and I have some pretty exciting stuff going on next week. I can’t wait to tell you about it. Stay tuned! ;)