Let’s Play Catch Up

– If you follow me on Instagram, you’re fully aware that I’ve unapologetically morphed into a crazy dog lady. I’ve become a person I hardly recognize; I refer to myself as “mommy” when I’m talking to Penny, I only speak in a baby voice when she’s present, and I spend every free moment cuddling with her.

In short, all I seem to be doing lately is hanging out with my dog and taking pictures of her. Totally causal. 



Thanks to my neighbor Christina for snapping this picture! 

– My amazing neighbor came over on Saturday morning to take Christmas pictures for us. They turned out so well that I overzealously ordered our Christmas cards that night. (When do you send out your Christmas cards?)

– I’m still obsessed with AdvoCare and am still amazed at how great I feel. Our challenge ends this week and I’m excited to share our final results with you! All I can say is: I’m sold.

– I was interviewed on the Lifestyle Accountability Show, and I felt pretty cool listening to my podcast interview. I loved having the opportunity to talk about being a self-proclaimed “advocate for the average” and how I view healthy living. You can listen to my episode HERE.


– Did I mention I’m obsessed with my dog? Oh, yeah, I did. I forgot to mention that Cory is pretty smitten as well.

Screen shot 2013-11-24 at 8.44.46 PM– I am so excited that Thanksgiving is this week! We’re staying in town and going to my in-law’s and I can’t wait! My MIL makes the best…everything. What are your plans?



Ice Breaker Games: Taking Control of the Awkwardness

There are few things more anxiety-provoking for me than being in a new group and having to do ice breakers. It’s always, like, introduce yourself and give an interesting fact about yourself.

In these moments, my mind goes blank; it stops working entirely. I normally spit out: Hi, I’m Colleen and there is nothing interesting about me. I wish I was kidding. 

So next week, at a company-wide staff training, I asked to be in charge of ice breakers.

Wait, what?

No, see, my plan is to do ice breakers the way I want to do them. Rather than having grown humans go around the room and say meaningless facts about themselves, I’ve sent out a survey of sorts, asking a variety of funny “ice breaker” type questions.

Then, I’m going to make it into a presentation and people will have to guess who said it. Fun(ish), right?

It will really keep the awkwardness to a minimum, and that’s something I can absolutely get behind.

For extra points, I asked people to send me baby/childhood pictures so we can play “guess who.” I have a perfect picture. It’s one my mom gave to Cory as a gag-gift. I think she was half joking, half saying: I hope your kids aren’t as ugly as your future wife once was. 

Screen shot 2013-10-15 at 8.00.27 PM

Joke’s on her, because I use it in my favor. I display this bad boy in our home, and I tell guests, for only ten cents a day, we help feed this poor homeless boy. Saint status.

Traveling for Work is Like Sleep Away Camp

I know it’s unbecoming to complain, but this week totally sucked for me. I adore my job, but the one part I struggle with is the fact that travel is involved.

Traveling for work never fails to remind me of the one and only time I went to sleep away camp. It was dreadful, really. God only knows what possessed my mother and me to think I would have enjoyed it.

Sleeping bags. Bugs. Sweating. Sports. Crafts. Latrines.

Fuck latrines. Hand to God – I didn’t shit for 7 days. And they treated us to McDonald’s the third day we were there. Talk about uncomfortable.

I digress.

I was away from home for a week. I’m pretty sure I cried every night. I’m very sure I wrote  a letter home every.single.day.

Yes, that does mean that even after I returned home, my parents were still receiving tear-stained letters gushing about how much I missed them.

And now, at 26, not much has changed. I didn’t write Cory any letters, but being gone for 4 days was almost as miserable as sleep away camp. At least this time I had flushing toilets.

Stealing Soda

Last night I had to work a little later than normal. It’s really no big deal, besides the fact that if I stay ten minutes late, it takes me an additional 15 minutes to get home.

Which blows.

Anyway. Cory got home before me, called me and asked my least favorite question of all time, What did you say we’re having for dinner?

Some chicken recipe I found on Pintrest. Why? 

Because all of our chicken is still frozen. Again. 


We were both pretty hangry by the time I got home. I walked in the house to find that Cory had started to boil water and had two half-empty boxes of two different pastas on the counter.

Things were looking pretty desperate, and Cory’s too much of a gentleman to blame me for the situation we were finding ourselves in. (I always forget to thaw out the frozen foods!)

After flipping and flopping and bickering out of hunger, we decided there was only one possible solution.

But while at Chipotle, something happened that always seems to get Cory in a tizzy. As Cory was in line for our drinks, a boy was filling cups for he and his mother. The little boy had (free) water cups, but filled them with soda (dun, dun, dun.)

Cory starred daggers into the back off this pre-teen’s back, sighed loudly, and all but accused the mother of raising a no-good thief.

I, on the other hand, find myself wanting to give the kid a high-five, because I still don’t have the guts to do that.

Things I Won’t Do

Eat a sandwich without a side of chips.

Go comando.

Stop Facebook stalking certain people.


Simple math without using my fingers.

Think of the term “breakfast burrito” without gagging.

Wear sneakers without socks.

Eat my fries before my burger.

Go down a water slide.

Anything before I change into comfy clothes after work.

Happy Birthday, Cory!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, dear Cory!

Happy birthday to you!

I’ve been smitten with this guy since his tender age of 20! I can’t believe he turns 27 today! I know what you’re thinking: What’s like to be with such an old man? 😉


Make This Monday Great

Sometimes, a few mood-boosting quotes are what I need to get me in gear for an awesome Monday (and in turn, an awesome week.)

I hope your day is fabulous, my friends!

Bathing Suit Shopping

Things that are better than going bathing  suit shopping:

  1. Traffic
  2. A stingy bar tender
  3. Math
  4. Taking a bite of pizza too soon after it comes out of the oven, resulting in burning the bejesus out of the top of your mouth.
  5.  Knowing that Ryan Gossling isn’t single
  6. Having to stop to get gas
  7. Stubbing your toe
  8. Sweet Frog being out of rainbow sprinkles
  9. That ravenous/belligerent feeling you get when you know dinner is still 30 minutes away and you’re thisclose to gnawing your arm off.
  10. Getting weighed at the doctor, while constipated, in the middle of the day, after you’ve eaten breakfast and lunch.

Thoughts While Being Under the Weather

I hope it rains today so I feel less guilty about laying on the couch. 

SVU Marathon for the next 10 hours? Check. 

There are not enough blankets in this house. 

I wish my dog could refrain from needing to go to outside until at least noon tomorrow.  

I want my mom. 

Maybe if I can sweat this out at the gym, I’ll feel better..

I wish I hadn’t tried to sweat this out at the gym. 

Milkshakes are better for a sore throat than actual medicine, right? 

I feel exhausted after taking that shower. 

Walking up the stairs shouldn’t leave me this winded.

I sound like a man when I talk. Don’t lie to me. I totally sound like a man, right? 

I cannot handle stupid people today. 




I think I have reached the end of the internet. 

(Other thoughts)


Seriously, Downton?!

This post contains Downton spoilers. (aka: MOM, DON’T READ THIS POST.)

I have an obsessive personality.

Interests tend to be all-or-nothing for me. When I love something (i.e. not someone), I love it wholly and intensely – until it bores me or something better comes along.

Along this same line, I get intensely attached to book and TV characters. You know, like, I talk about them as if they’re real people.

Because they are.

This brings me to the travesty that was the Downton Abbey season finale last night.



I knew it was going to happen. I held my breath every time Matthew came on screen. But when he made it back to Mary in the hospital, I stupidly breathed a sigh of relief, Oh thank GOD. I was worrying for nothing. 

Then, with horror, I realized there were approximately 7 minutes left of the show. When Mary and Matthew started that lovey-dovey foreshadowing conversation, I knew he was a goner, and I braced myself.

My question: Why didn’t he just TELEPHONE the family?!


If you don’t watch the show, this post will mean nothing to you. But for the Downton fans,  you’ll understand why I’m spending the day mourning of a fictional character.