Photo: Layna Rae Photography
I wish I had fun and exciting things to write about, but if I’m not running around after Jack, I’m either sitting with a heating pad on my back or sleeping (with approximately 47 pillows shoved in every nook of my body that bends or hurts.)
I had an ultrasound yesterday, and I cried right there on the bed in front of the ultrasound tech. I’m not typically someone who cries when she’s happy (or in front of people), but this pregnancy has turned me into the freakin’ mayor of Waterworks USA.
The UT was so kind, and she just let me watch the baby’s face make different expressions for much longer than she probably should have, and I thanked her over and over again.
I’ve felt so immensely grateful throughout this pregnancy, and I think that it’s because, this time, I know what I’m getting out of it. That sounds dumb, but follow me: I was sick for the overwhelming majority of my first pregnancy, and I was nervous because I’m not a “kid person,” which caused me to wonder if I’d be a good a mom. I had fears about not connecting with my baby, or my baby not connecting with me, and I was overwhelmed by the the vast amount of unknown variables.
This time, I’ve felt much better (and even understood why some women might even like being pregnant), despite having very little time to rest or pamper myself. I know now that being a “kid person” has nothing to do with how you love your own baby, or how much your baby loves you, and I’m much more comfortable with the fact that I don’t have all the answers.
Even though the nursery isn’t complete, and the most “nesting” thing I’ve done is separated Jack’s old clothes by size, realizing that we’re a month (or less?!) away from meeting this baby has me so excited.
But also tired. And terribly uncomfortable. And not motivated to do much of anything at all.
So if I’m not writing regular blog posts, it’s not because I’m not thinking about it; it’s because I’m super pregnant and absolutely d-o-n-e with life every night as soon as Jack goes to bed #realtalk
(Someone remind me that this part is normal? Maybe?)