Back to Reality

slowThese past ten days of vacation were amazing. We headed up to Cape Cod for a week with our friends Bobby + Whitney (with a pitstop to see my parents) and it was a much needed break from reality. I didn’t know it before we got there, but the Cape Cod house doesn’t have wifi, and I fully embraced the forced disconnection.

Walks to the bay, days spent in Provincetown and Chatam, and relaxing on the back deck with Bloody Marys were some of the highlights from the week. The 10+ hour car rides to and from were slightly painful, but there’s something I love about road trip conversations.

coryComing back from vacation is always bittersweet, and the fact that tomorrow is the beginning of September intensifies that feeling for me tenfold.

I’m feeling refreshed and energized for what the last part of 2015 has in store; and while this has been a fantastic summer, I’m absolutely ready to welcome my favorite season with open arms! wellfleetCheck back tomorrow – I’m mixing things up a bit and taking a page out of this lady’s book and starting a little vlogging challenge ;)

Chit chat: Did you take any fun trips or vacations this summer?

Vacation Mode



Can you believe that summer is almost over?! Seriously, how are we at the tail-end of August? Wasn’t it early Spring, like, two days ago?

I’m popping in today to give you a head’s up that I’ll be taking a vacation from the blog for the next week and a half or so (though I’ll still be all over Instagram, I’m sure.) I’ll be soaking up quality time with my family and friends, and while I don’t want to worry about posting, I didn’t just want to drop off and leave you hanging.

I’ll be back September 1 with a new vlogging challenge inspired by my friend, Lindsay! If you have any questions or topics you want me to address in my daily vlogs, leave a comment and let me know. I’m super excited about it!

Enjoy the last bit of summertime, friends!

Lies I Tell Myself, Vol. 1

By playing this baby Mozart channel, I’m increasing Jack’s SAT score.

If I cry alone in the bathroom, it doesn’t count.

If I cry in front of Jack, he’ll end up in therapy.

Jack will love cuddling me forever and ever.

My mother’s voice did not just come out of my mouth.

This free coffee I make at home tastes just as good as the one I could buy at Dunkin.

Eating a chocolate chip cookie in small bites throughout the day is not the same as eating a whole chocolate chip cookie.

Giving up my paycheck to stay at home always feels worth it.

I hate Facebook.

I’ll fold that laundry today.

I’ll just go “walk around” Target.

I don’t need wine.

wine me

If We Met for Coffee

If we were to meet for coffee, I’d apologize for the fact that I can’t stay up past 8:30pm these days, or I would have loved to meet you for happy hour instead.

I wouldn’t want to waste time talking about myself, really. I think it’s the counselor in me, but I’m always much more interested in listening to other people talk about themselves than listen to myself talk about…myself.

But most conversations aren’t one-sided, now, are they?

You’d ask me how life as a mom is going, and I’d tell you that it’s honestly the best thing I’ve ever done, which still shocks me, because I was terrified I’d be bad at it. I’d tell you that I’m constantly blindsided by the overwhelming amount of love I feel for this baby boy, and that truly, sometimes I fear that my heart may just burst.

But that’s where I’d draw the Pinterest line. I’d also tell you that I probably had a melt down before meeting up with you because I have nothing to wear and breastfeeding is causing embarrassing hormonal acne that makes me feel like a pizza-faced teenager.


If we met during the week, Jack would be with me, and you’d get to see that he’s the cutest baby ever. I’d tell you that it’s so hard not posting the one million pictures I take on a daily basis!

I’d also tell you that I love staying at home with Jack, but I’m having a real hard time with the loneliness factor. I’d tell you that as an extrovert, I get my energy from interacting with others, so being alone is the most draining thing for me. I bet you’d say, have you looked into joining any moms groups?, and I’d tell you, oh hell yes. 

I’d tell you I’m thinking about joining a MOPS group, but I’m totally hesitant to pay the joining fee before attending the first meeting. I mean, what if I don’t mesh? Do I get a refund? How would I even ask for that refund? I’d say, yes, these are the things I think about these days…

I’d talk to you about the things I don’t blog about, and you’d probably be surprised by some of the things I’d tell you. Some (read: most) things don’t belong on the internet.

I’d tell you that yesterday, I got Jack to nap in his crib for the first time ever. I let him cry for seven minutes, and it was the longest, most gut-wrenching seven minutes of my life. I’d say that, in the end, it was worth it because he napped for 90 minutes (!!!) and I cleaned ALL THE THINGS.


I’d tell you that my mother-in-law kindly watched Jack yesterday when I cashed in my pre-natal massage gift certificate (oops) at Red Door Spa in Short Pump and it was the best thing ever. I’d tell you if you ever go over to Short Pump, you need to get a deep tissue massage from Monica. It hurt so good.

At this point, Jack would become restless, signaling me that it’s time to go home. I’d hastily gather up all his things (not wanting to bother anyone with his crying!), hug you and thank you for meeting up, and tell you that we need to do it again soon.

If we were to meet for coffee, what would YOU tell ME?

PS – This “coffee chat” concept is not mine. I’ve seen it on several blogs over the years, but I don’t know who started it! 

The Pool Day That Wasn’t


source – ps. are you following her yet?! her pictures are amazing.

Something glorious happened on Saturday.

Something almost glorious happened on Saturday, and I had been looking forward to it for weeks.

When I was pregnant, Cory had the opportunity to attend a ‘Daddy Bootcamp’ class (WHY they don’t offer a bootcamp for moms is beyond me.) It was a neat class that covered the basics of being a new, first-time dad; but what Cory found to be most helpful was the “veteran dad” who attended the class with his new baby and answered everyone’s burning questions.

The Saturday had finally come; Cory was volunteering at the same Daddy Bootcamp as the veteran dad.

From 9am – noon.

With Jack.

I love my baby, but I think any mom reading this can relate to the giddiness that came along with the idea of being child-free for a few hours.

What would I do with all that time?


I was going to the pool BY MYSELF. I was going to sit in the sun and get the tan that I’ve been missing out on all summer. My pasty legs are begging for a little bronzing! I was even planning on napping in the sun! The solid kind of nap that would leave me open-mouthed and possibly drooling in public, but I didn’t care.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I tried not to let the cloudy skies and my slightly achy body deter my happiness. It’s early, you’re tried. I told myself. The clouds will totally burn off, and you’ll feel fine by the time the pool opens HOURS from now. 

By the time Cory and Jack pulled out of the driveway around 8:30, I was practically kicking my heels with glee. What should I do first?! Pee by myself? Eat a hot breakfast? Take a shower that lasts longer than 3 minutes (and shave my legs)?!

Oh, the options were boundless.

I actually settled on reading my book (my brain was slightly shocked to be reading a book more advanced than Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?.) I sat on our deck and got so sucked into Girl on the Train that I hardly noticed that the clouds had not cleared by the pool’s 10am open.

Give it a little more time. I told myself, feeling slightly disappointed, as I was quite certain that the day would be a drizzly, cloudy one.

I continued reading, but moved it inside because of the drizzle, still bummed about the pool.

Around noon, Cory called me to tell me they were on their way home, so put down the book (seriously, was SO GOOD) and jumped in the shower.

When I get out, a few four-letter words escaped my lips (shocking, I know) as I looked out our bathroom window.


Not a dark cloud to be seen.


As for the achy body?

Yeah – that was a fever of 102.

At least I got to pee by myself.


Complaining vs. Bragging vs. Real Talk (?!)

Okay, real talk for a sec.

Since I started blogging, I’ve been called dramatic and a complainer on more than one occasion. To be honest, I totally get it. I tend to be over the top or to one extreme, but it’s intentional. When I choose to write about my “life” I’m really just taking a single moment or experience, putting it under a microscope, and sharing it with you. My whole life isn’t, like, THIS IS HARD AND IT SUCKS.

I write the kind of material that I enjoy reading, you know what I mean? I haaaate reading fluffy, happy, my-life-is-perfect blogs (or knowing those kind of people in real life.) It’s boring, and honestly makes me kind of uncomfortable. Like being in a fancy restaurant when all I really want is chicken tenders and fries.

If I wanted to believe that I was the only person in the world who spent her weekend binging OITNB covered in chip crumbs and/or was the only person who cannot figure out her good angle for a selfie, I’d stick to Instagram.


Here’s the thing: I think I have a really good life. Like, my life is so good I can’t even believe it sometimes. I’m hashtag blessed, man.

But if that was the angle of my blog, I’d be criticized for bragging. And to me, that’s THE WORST. In my opinion, the tackiest thing someone can be is a braggart.


Social media gives everyone the perfect opportunity to let the world view your life — but only the pretty parts. And I think that is such bull shit. Sure, my life is good, and yours probably is, too, but so what? I have no interest in having a pissing contest with the entire world about the pretty parts.

do have an interest in connecting and relating to people, to real life humans who mess up and have bad days and who feel like they don’t have this life thing figured out yet.

I want to know that you tried really hard for something, came up short, but lived to tell the tale. I want to know that you had a bad day and ugly cried on the phone with your mom and then came home and ate cereal for dinner because you just couldn’t “adult” for one more minute that day. I want to know that you’re a parent who sometimes lets ketchup count as a veggie or  can’t remember when you last bathed your infant (because how dirty can they get, really?)

I won’t think you’re a complainer for talking about your particular struggle (even if I can’t relate) and I won’t judge you for being dramatic when you tell me your day was thee worst ever (even though you and I both know it’ll all be fine after a good cry and a good night’s sleep.)

The worst I’ll do is think you’re human and want to be your friend.



On Turning 26

Last week, I made a routine visit to the ABC store. It may come as a shock, (as it did to my mother) but I don’t frequent that establishment. The people there don’t know me as a “regular.”


I perused the aisles, grabbed my booze, and went to check out. As the woman was ringing me up, I instinctively grabbed my ID.

Not needed.

She didn’t card me. I thought it was like, a law, to card anyone who looks under 50 years of age. I was slightly perturbed by this, but I didn’t let ruin my day. I mean, it was a FLUKE.

But maybe not.

Because the next fucking day, I was shopping when an older woman (who actually wouldn’t need to be carded) came up and tapped me on the shoulder.

Excuse me, I don’t mean to stalk you…

I immediately thought she was a blog reader. One time, and my head blew up.

…but I’m shopping for my daughter. Her birthday is coming up and I want to buy her a new outfit. You look about her age, so I want to ask you opinion. 

Of course she could ask my opinion! We briefly laughed about how moms can sometimes miss the mark when it comes to buying clothes.

I happened to ask, How old will your daughter be? 

Oh, she’s turning 38. 



My world immediately imploded. I felt myself getting hot. First, I didn’t get carded. Now, this woman thinks I’m approaching middle age. What’s next?! Someone offering me a discount on a Hoverround?!

Screen shot 2013-10-03 at 11

I’m not one to ever complain about getting older. (As I say, it’s much better than the alternative, am I right?!) But this is just fucking ridiculous. Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 26. Please, everyone, come tell me how young I look.

Totally Truthful Thursday: (Pre) House Hunters Edition

1. I can’t really eat. Or sleep. Or anything in between. Why? Oh, I’m only paralyzed by fear because our House Hunters episode airs tonight on HGTV.

Thanks to my friends, LK, for tweeting this picture to me and making me barf at work.

2. I’ll say it now: If you watch the episode and hate me afterwards, please keep in mind that it leans way towards the scripted side.

3. I am fearful that I will have to write a “Behind the Scenes” post, just to clarify any embarrassing things we may have said or done.

4. Because of camera stuff I don’t understand, we could only wear certain colors, and very few patterns. I forgot what I wore, and I’m very nervous about it.

5. Let’s all agree right now that the camera definitely adds 10 – 25 pounds.

6. Jamie will be here for moral support (and more importantly, wine-glass-refiller.) Emily will be sorely missed.

7. If you watch it, let me know. Mmmkay?


Bathing Suit Shopping

Things that are better than going bathing  suit shopping:

  1. Traffic
  2. A stingy bar tender
  3. Math
  4. Taking a bite of pizza too soon after it comes out of the oven, resulting in burning the bejesus out of the top of your mouth.
  5.  Knowing that Ryan Gossling isn’t single
  6. Having to stop to get gas
  7. Stubbing your toe
  8. Sweet Frog being out of rainbow sprinkles
  9. That ravenous/belligerent feeling you get when you know dinner is still 30 minutes away and you’re thisclose to gnawing your arm off.
  10. Getting weighed at the doctor, while constipated, in the middle of the day, after you’ve eaten breakfast and lunch.

Friday Things

1. I am SO GLAD it’s Friday! If you read this blog and/or follow me on Twitter you know I’ve been loving on Pretty Little Liars real hard this past week. While I truly am obsessed with the show, the real reason I’ve been giving so much TLC to PLL is because Cory has been gone ALL WEEK.

And I’ve missed him. He’s the person who gets my weirdness. Without him to laugh with every day, I feel…weird.

2. We’re going to visit our best couple friends this weekend!

3. Do you have a friend whose laugh you just love? Emily sent me this picture from college that she found on her computer, and I genuinely smile every time I look at it because I can hear her laugh through the photo.

Ten bucks says she’ll text me about this, so let me say it: Emily has lost ~40 pounds since that picture was taken. And I’m proud of her! 

5. My in-laws are super sweet and came to this side of town last night just to take me out to dinner because I’ve been alone all week. It was so appreciated!

6. I feel like a total tool saying this, but this weekend we’re boarding my wittle Campbell for this first time ever. I am so worried about it! Please someone tell me I’m normal.

Campbell is wary of children, just like me. (But we both ADORE this one ;) )

7. It’s FRIDAY! Have a great weekend, my friends! :)