You show up in your ‘soft’ clothes
Meaning yoga pants, leggings, sweatshirts and t-shirts that have had a little too much love. Unless we’re taking this show on the road (meaning, without children) there’s never a need for you to worry about your appearance. One friend suggested that we ban pants with waistbands from all future get togethers and I almost bought her a BFF necklace right then and there.
You talk about poop
Roll your eyes and snicker all you want, but you and I both know that the real-deal friends are the ones who you can talk about gross bodily functions with. One of my best friends recently got the stomach plague that’s been going around and when I said, it’s terrible isn’t it? She replied, I shit my pants. Twice.
You push me outside of my comfort zone
For example, I am not what you would consider an ‘animal person.’ I think most animals are filthy, and things like petting zoos give me the heebies. That said I know I can’t pass all my neuroses onto my child, so I appreciate when my friends do things like help Jack feed
gross animal food to the gross animals at the zoo while I just hover with the hand sanitizer.
You let your guard down
One of the best moments in a friendship is when you realize you can show up exactly as you are. No false pretenses or facades or sugar coating or concern for being judged. My friend came over the other day amidst the teething saga, and I didn’t have to preface her visit with “Sorry I look this way, or that my house isn’t clean or that my kid is dressed in the shittest onesie and sweatpant combo we own.” She simply walked in the door and stepped into the disaster of playroom without a second glance.
You don’t take life (too) seriously
Listen, if we’re in a fire or there’s a murderer chasing me around the playground or I buy myself a pair of classic crocs, I’m going to need you to take life seriously; otherwise, I think we should be able to laugh at most things.