As Luck Would Have It

Hi, friends! I hope your day is going well! Mine started out with a winning combination: weights and cereal :D I’m ready to plow through this day so I can see the weekend on the horizon!

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People always tell Cory and I that we are so lucky to be in a successful relationship. The truth is that we’re “lucky” to have met each other when we did, but we’re not “lucky” to be in this relationship. We’ve worked together to make it successful.

There are so many contributing factors that make a successful relationship, and I think many relationships don’t succeed because the people in them think it’s supposed to be easy all time and that everything comes naturally. Is there anyone reading this who is either married or in long-term relationship that can back me up on this one? ;)

I know relationships are an important part of life, so here are some tips on having a healthy, successful relatipnship

  • Communicate In my opinion, this is the most important thing you can do for your relationship. Try as he might, he cannot read your mind. If you spent all day working in the yard or hours prepping for a full meal and you want him to notice – TELL HIM you want him to notice your hard work. If you need alone time to make yourself happy, discuss it; don’t just “take a day to be alone” without telling her that’s what you need. She’ll think she did something wrong.
  • Laugh If your partner doesn’t make you laugh, start packing your bags. Last night, I was literally on the floor with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard because Cory was being silly. It’s moments like those that make a relationship great. I mean, if you can’t laugh – what’s the point?

  • Learn how to argue A knockĀ a knock down, drag out, bring-up-something-from-two-years-ago fight (we’ve all be there there) is not the way to solve anything. I think people need to stop being afraid to argue with their partner. Disagreeing and not seeing eye-to-eye all the time are apart of life. Knowing how to do so effectively is key. Try using “I” statements (think: “I feel this way”) rather than “you” statements (think: “You pissed me off”) and avoiding words like “always” and “never” (think: “You never put the toilet seat down.” Really, he’s never remembered once?)
  • Get with the times It’s not 1950 anymore, ladies. It’s okay to take your manfriend on a date. It’s okay to pursue a man. You cannot wait around for a relationship without putting in any effort. I understand wanting to be sought after and “courted” if you will, but just know that it’s okay to go after someone that you want.
  • Find a common hobby Obviously you have things in common because you’re together, but learning new things together or sharing common goals is healthy. For instance, we all know how I feel about running, but it’s something Cory really enjoys – so we run races together. But it’s also important to have your own separate hobbies as well (hello, blogging!)

  • Don’t stop flirting After a couple of years (or months) two people get comfortable with each other and the “chase” usually ends. But the “chase” is the fun part! A simple wink across the room, a random text message or a compliment on how nice your partner looks goes a long way.

So as luck would have it, I met a cute boy at a frat party my first weekend of college. As hard work and dedication would have it, that cute boy is going to be my husband.

These things work for us – what has worked in your current or past relationships ?

Comments

  1. says

    I agree completely with everything you said in this post! I would also say that being yourself and allowing the other person to be themselves is important as well. It’s easier said then done, but to me, that’s the foundation and key to a strong future together! Have a great day!!

  2. says

    I completely agree! Who knew when I asked Cush to go with me to a date party as friends (because I didn’t want to go dateless!) that we’d end up together! It’s true – opposites attract!

  3. says

    Great post! People are always amazed at how long my boyfriend and I have been together and I’m like…we like each other! Even though he obviously does things that drive me crazy, and vice versa, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him in my life. I also completely agree with the laughing thing. There’s been a few times when I’ve been “upset” and damn him if he can’t make me laugh right then.

  4. says

    Such a good post! My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years and met each other our first year of college. Being best friends first, it was REALLY easy for us to fall into that “comfortable” phase and sort of hard to keep the spark alive. Communication is so important; is the only way either one of you can know if there’s a problem before the blow up fight (because that’s usually what I wait for…oops).

  5. says

    All of these are so true! Great relationships take active work to stay that way. Communication was something definitely lacking (among other things) in my past relationships.

    Kind of going along with the last point, I think keeping the mystery is helpful. Your partner doesn’t need to know every single thing about you (for example, all of your personal “maintenance” activities). Keeping those things private can keep romance alive.

    Wow, I sound cheesy!

  6. says

    Great tips! Communicating is definitely the big one for me- I used to think he “should” know when I was mad or wanted something, but I now I know better and just say it!

  7. says

    These are some great tips! Communication is definitely the most important thing. Being silly together helps too :)
    I think it’s important to make time for one another. After my boyfriend and I moved in together, things changed, and we fell into a rut with our busy schedules and weren’t spending as much quality time together. I think hobbies you both enjoy, and regular date nights go a long way

    • says

      Yes, yes, yes! Making time for one another is so crucial!! It’s so easy to forget about being with each other when you’re so busy. Scheduling date nights is a must in my world! :)

  8. says

    Omg this post is so true! I hate when people get into relationship, feel comfortable with each other and then let themselves go. It’s so common to start gaining weight when you’re in a serious relationship. I think I gotta keep getting hotter so I can keep my man ;)

  9. says

    You are too cute! AND SO SO SO pretty! Tan legs, I’m jealous ;)

    I totally agree on the a little flirting! IT goes a long ways!

    Thanks for the great tips!

  10. says

    Okay I just reread the Get with the times one and I totally love that! The problem is I’m all about the chase! I love doing it! But I realize I need a man who WANTS me and will do a little chasin of his own!!

    • says

      Oh, I agree! I love the feeling of being chased after! I’m just saying that I think it’s okay for ladies to do some of pursing as well :)

  11. says

    All these posts out there in blog-land are hitting home for me! For the past 3 years I’ve expected guys to come to ME. But as you said, times are changing and girls can go chase the guys nowadays as too. Now that I finally let go of that principle there might be something great in the making!

    Great tips!

  12. Katherine Egan says

    Hi Colleen! First- I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now- and I love it! We have similar outlooks on food & fitness :)
    Second- I couldn’t agree more about communication and laughter! My boyfriend & I have been together for 3 years and we’re currently long distance. I definitely think that a big part of our success has been a healthy mix of those two things!

    • says

      Hi, Katherine! That’s so wonderful that you and your boyfriend have been together for so long!! I think long distance is super tough – and you’re so right, it’d be impossible without communication and laughter. Kudos to you, my friend!

  13. says

    Totally agree with all of these tips. Definitely need to keep things fresh and exciting in a relationship. LAUGHTER is a key.. after having a good laugh with my boyfriend.. the world seems so much brighter!

  14. says

    Great post! Those are such good tips and I couldn’t agree more. Having your partner make you laugh till you cry is the best! I think having a bit of space from time to time is also essential in a healthy relationship. I think it’s important to be able to maintain your independence.

  15. says

    such a good post! the learn how to argue is SO TRUE and often overlooked! I believe I learned from Tough Love (what… doesn’t everyone take life lessons from reality tv?!) that you should never name call when fighting. My previous relationship was all name calling and no productive fights! Its nice to have innocent fights in my current relationship that don’t leave you regretting what you said and vice versa :)

    -courtney

  16. says

    You are so right. A great reminder, we have a daughter so sometimes I get so caught up in everyday life that I forget about working on my relationship with my husband.

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