10 Ways You Know Winter Owns You

1. Your most frequent form of exercise is sprinting to the kitchen for more snacks before the next episode of your Netflix binge begins.

2. You question if you even remember how to shave your legs anymore.


3. The best part of your day is coming home from work and getting ugly and comfortable in seconds flat.

4. You are so pasty and pale that at least one person has asked you this winter if you’re ill.

5. You’re normally ready for bed at approximately 8:45pm.

6. Seeing the bikinis when you walk into Target makes you want to physically harm someone.

7. But all your pins are reflecting nothing but summer dreams.

Screen shot 2014-03-05 at 4.38.57 PM

But putting out bathing suits IRL is too soon, Target. Too soon. 

8. You know that a sunny day + freezing cold temps is the biggest mind fuck Mother Nature can play.

9. A busy night consists of having more than one TV show to watch.

10. You need a pedicure more than you need the air you breathe.



  1. says

    So while living in Miami has it’s major perks (the weather being #1), I have to shave my legs more often than I would like, I am surrounded by scantily clad women, and I have to get a pedicure once a month or else open toed shoes are out! But even with all that, I’ll take it! Sending you lots of warm thoughts!!

  2. Lily says

    Seriously, everything on this list is my life. Especially number 2. Things have gotten in a bad way. Though tomorrow it will be 42 where I live – its going to feel tropical. Better go shave my legs so I can wear shorts!

  3. Chelsea Fry says

    Haha all of these are so true! But “getting comfortable and ugly in seconds flat” is my goal when I get home regardless of season!

  4. says

    I’m so pale that it looks like I’m either a raccoon, or I’ve been punched in both eyes. It’s glorious. And no jealousy that Tyler left this morning to Florida for 16 days. I love hanging back, shoveling snow, freezing my ass off, and dealing with a teething toddler.

    • Colleen says

      Tyler is in Florida for 16 days?! Someone got the short end of that stick. Stay warm (and with a teething Nia…stay sane), my friend!

  5. says

    The getting comfy thing instantly is so true! Some days from the time I walk in my door until the time i’m in a sweatshirt and sweatpants/yoga pants is about 30 seconds. It’s pathetic, but I’m nice and warm and that’s what matters :)

  6. says

    Yes to all of this! What is the point of shaving?? Except when you wear cropped pants to the gym you can shave up to the knee. 😉
    And seriously how tricky is it when it’s gloriously sunny out but below zero temps?? I do like the sun though so I can’t complain there!

  7. says

    This is hilarious and Oh so true!!! Especially the shaving…hahahahaha!!! I often have to apologize to my husband about the hairy legs, but I don’t really care to do anything to rectify the situation.

  8. Mary Ellen McCarthy says

    Made me smile and laugh.. I went to my dermatologist last week for a body check for cancer.. I had to warn her I had not shaved in 2014. Nice. I had a massage a week later. I thought I had shaved but when I got home I noticed a ‘few’ missed stripes. And I only “run” to the bathroom.


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