Lazy Vacationer

I am a lazy vacationer. I’m not someone who likes going on vacation to do stuff. Thankfully, I’m married to someone with the same vacation philosophy.

Cory and I lead go go go lives (just like 99.9% of the population) so I can’t tell you how excited I was to go back to Puerto Vallarta and stay at Garza Blanca. For six days, we laid by the pool, ate delicious food, and day drank.

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We met some nice couples, but like I said, I wasn’t there to chit chat and hear anyone’s life story. Jesus, people, that’s what I do for a living.

Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting new people (HELLO, extrovert!) but I’m convinced I have a PLESAE TELL ME YOUR LIFE STORY tattooed on my forehead. Sometimes, I just want to read books. Which I did. I read five.*

I digress.

We met some nice couples, but we mainly kept to ourselves, praise God.

coryI was a moron and got blistery sunburnt on our FIRST DAY, but if spending a week under an umbrella in paradise is the worst thing that happened to me, I really can’t complain. (Plus, now I’m peeling. And let’s be honest – peeling off the sunburn is fun game.)

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And, now, it’s Monday in the Real World. While I’m not by the pool and already three mimosas deep, I really do feel reenergized and glad to get back to my normal routine. Also, having my puppy back has a large influence on my positive attitude ;)

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 *If you’re looking for some summer reads, all 5 books I read were fantastic!
1. Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn
2. Dark Places, Gillian Flynn
3. The Silent Wife, A.S.A Harrison
4. Hidden, Catherine McKenzie
5. The Husband’s Secret, Liane Moriarty
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Video Blog – Random Question

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Perspective

Maybe it’s the 20-something in me, but does anyone else feel like they’re behind the eight ball of Life sometimes?

Christ, every time I get on Facebook or Instagram or read a blog it’s as if everyone is writing a book, becoming famous, starting their own business or having their third child while simultaneously wearing size 4 jeans and holding a VP title at a Fortune 500 company.

And I’m like, I…have a job? And my hobbies include drinking, Netflixing and taking pictures of my dog. Sometimes I workout in between eating subs and taking naps, and my most recent fitness success is not once farting during a yoga class.

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I have dirty dishes in my sink, and sometimes I don’t completely close my underwear drawer. My toothpaste top is crusty and I still don’t know if there’s a way to wash my face without ending up with a sopping wet countertop as a result.

I have the best of intentions, but I’m forgetful as hell. My car is a mess and sometimes my socks don’t match. I’m weird and foul-mouthed and a recovering stressaholic.

I’m not a business owner. Or a famous writer. Or a muscle woman. Or super talented fill-in-the-blank-here. (And maybe you’re not either.)

But I love and trust first, and ask questions second. I have the fortunate problem of often laughing so hard that I pee a little. My heart is beyond full and I literally have everything I have ever wanted.  (And maybe you do, too.)

Perspective. It’s a wonderful and terrible thing, friends. But you get to choose it.

 

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TV Eater

I’m a TV eater.

Wait. No. I don’t eat TVs. I enjoy eating in front of them. I know every health magazine out there condemns that mindless, shove-don’t-savor eating technique, but whatever.

I enjoy it.

Last night, I was on my own for dinner so I enjoyed Jimmy Johns a la DVR. Pretty Little Liars was up first. It’s times like these when I’m immensely thankful I’m not on a reality show; because most nights I’m sitting on my couch like a damn pig in sweats watching a TV show meant for a target audience of prepubescent girls.

Good thing my blog can paint me in a more attractive, less pathetic light, am I right? 

I digress.

So, I finish #PLL and I move onto Dance Moms. It’s at that point I think Hmmm, I still want to eat. 

So, I pause the child prodigies who, by the way, make me feel even more pathetic as I watch them win dance competions at the ages of 9 and 10, and I’m all, Hey, I’m 26 and today I answered emails and bought tissues for the office.  

Again, I digress.

I end up eating a shit ton of left over cookie dough from this weekend. I may have even had a spoonful of buttercream frosting, but that’s neither here nor there.

Afterwards, I felt like shit. Shocking, I know.

Then, something that hasn’t happened in months, smacked me in the brain. I was having a mental battle for like, 25 minutes, berating myself for eating that dessert.

It’s at this point that Kim of Queen started and I felt a little better. You would think a tween pageant show would make me feel on par with the baby dancers show, but that’d be wrong.

Thankfully, I was slapped back to reality by my favorite POSITIVE reality TV show, Kim of Queens. Kim Gravel is so freaking positive and life coach-y that she made me, the lazy slob on the couch, feel positive too.

In conclusion, one freaking dessert isn’t going to make or break a damn thing.

So, that’s pretty much my roller coaster of emotions around TV and food.

#realtalk

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What I’m Loving Lately(ish)

Yoga (and YogasmogaI did yoga 4 times last week, and it’s quickly becoming my workout of choice. I seriously can’t believe I used to scoff at yoga and think it wasn’t a “real” workout. Has anyone else been in that boat? Clearly, if you’ve actually tried yoga, you know you were a moron to think such a thing.

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I’m also loving the yoga gear that Yogasmoga sent me to try out. The Classic Slimmie Pant is to die for, and if money grew on trees, I’d buy myself a second pair.

yogasmoga gear

2SpeakDog I knew that if we were going to get a Great Dane, we were going to invest in training that Great Dane. I wasn’t about to have a dog taller than the average 5 year old, and let it be out of control.

dane

We knew friends who went the Petsmart route, which is totally cool, but it wasn’t as advanced as what we were looking for. Enter: 2SpeakDog. 2SD came highly recommended, and when I saw that they were voted Best Dog Trainer in Richmond Magazine, I was sold.

2SD has been such a fantastic investment and we adore our favorite trainer, (and 2SD owner) Kasey Herra. She’s even come to our house for a private lesson. LOVE HER. And I love that Penny has learned so much in such a short period of time.

kasey

Redken Products – When I got my pixie cut, I was so scared because I had no idea how I was going to style it and I thought I’d be mistaken for a boy or a sloppy lesbian.

Thank GOD my stylist was willing to talk me through it and recommend products. For a year now, I’ve been using Redken’s aerate and rewind. If you have a pixie, those are the two product’s I’d recommend!

hair

 Animal print – I don’t care if you hate it. I love it.

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Pinterest – Does anyone else go through phases with Pinterest? Sometimes, I go months without pinning a thing, and other times (right now) I’m on that damn site every night for an hour before I go to bed, pinning ALL THE THINGS.

pinterestRings and Necklaces jewelry – I wear at least one Rings and Necklaces piece everyday. Diane has added some fantastic new pieces to the shop, too! Check them out!

Screen shot 2014-03-18 at 8.03.04 AMI want these in a bad way! 

 

 

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Totally Truthful Thursday

Sweet Frog. The reason I’m glad that I’m married. Because if I was left alone for “single lady dinners” on a nightly basis, I’d be starring on My 600 Pound Life

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Yes, it is as pathetic as it looks. I ate it alone in my car. 

I’m so glad I’m not a middle schooler in this day in age. I’d hate to have pictures of my awkward, ugly 12-year-old self all over internet for eternity. Oh wait…

NSYNC

Gotta love other people’s ability to post #tbt pictures of you… 

I am eternally thankful for braces, contact lenses, and no longer owning a pair of jorts.

You know what the worst moment is? Waiting for the screen to load when logging into your bank account.

 OMG SO TRUE. 

Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 7.43.06 PMI am convinced that BuzzFeed reads my diaries and makes money off my life. Seriously.

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If you want a glimpse into my 4th grade life, this is it. To a T, people! 

The winner of my first Rings and Necklaces giveaway is Robyn! Robyn, email me your shipping info to lunchboxdiaries[at]gmail[dot]com.

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Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for the next Rings and Necklaces giveaway! 

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(Dog) Mother of the Year

Like everyone on Facebook, I was dreading the loss of an hour of sleep on a Monday morning. I had my alarm set for 6:10, but the Universe laughed and said you wish, sucka.

Penny was yelping in her crate at 4:30am. Cory jumped out of bed, because I didn’t hear it (best dog-mom ever!) and came back up a few minutes later to tell me there was puke and bile all over her crate.

Awesome!

As the experienced dog owners that we are, we decided to let Penny in bed with us so we could attempt to salvage a few more hours of sleep.

Nope. 

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Why did we think she would stop hacking up a lung just because we put her in our bed? Because we’re soft, people! In a matter of moments, she was dry heaving and coughed up a small pile of mucus-y bile in the middle of our comforter.

Good thing we have a king. Why? Because we wanted our fucking sleep. So, we wiped it up and Cory said, just don’t roll in the middle. 

Sounds good, man. 

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When she did it a second time, I thought, maybe we’re foul human beings. But, again, the desire to sleep outweighed the self-judegment.

This is real life folks.

 Anyway, she didn’t stop coughing and she was shivering like a madwoman, so my motherly instinct finally kicked in to gear.  I had to stop my brain from going to maybe she has a cold, to maybe she only has hours to live. 

We got out of bed and into the car in a matter of minutes. When we got to the animal ER, the girl at the front desk asked me a million questions, half of which, Cory informed me once we were in the privacy of the examination room, I got incorrect.

Mother of Year is inevitable, don’t you think? 

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When the vet came in, she needed me to distract Penny with some treats so she could get Penny’s temperature. She lubed up the thermometer and stuck it in Penny’s hiney. (I laughed because as she did it, she said boop! but I thought she said poop!) 

Again, Mother of the Year will be mine when I have humans, I’m sure of it. 

To make a short story long, which I have the talent of doing, my little bubby has bronchitis and I’m confused as to why the world hasn’t stopped turning.

Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I just plan on sitting on the couch with my baby all day, catching phlegm and rubbing her back whispering you’re a good girl. You’re okay. Mommy loves you. 

If owning a dog serves as any sort of foreshadowing as to what kind of mother I’m going to be, I’m in for a lifetime of Xanax dependence.

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10 Ways You Know Winter Owns You

1. Your most frequent form of exercise is sprinting to the kitchen for more snacks before the next episode of your Netflix binge begins.

2. You question if you even remember how to shave your legs anymore.

shave

3. The best part of your day is coming home from work and getting ugly and comfortable in seconds flat.

4. You are so pasty and pale that at least one person has asked you this winter if you’re ill.

5. You’re normally ready for bed at approximately 8:45pm.

6. Seeing the bikinis when you walk into Target makes you want to physically harm someone.

7. But all your pins are reflecting nothing but summer dreams.

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But putting out bathing suits IRL is too soon, Target. Too soon. 

8. You know that a sunny day + freezing cold temps is the biggest mind fuck Mother Nature can play.

9. A busy night consists of having more than one TV show to watch.

10. You need a pedicure more than you need the air you breathe.

 

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Saying Goodbye to Healthy Living Blogging

I started this blog a little over 3 years ago. Back then, I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing, other than the fact that I wanting to share my writing with an audience for the first time in my life.

expo-track

When I started this blog (and up until very recently) I wanted to identify as a “healthy living blogger.” Why? Because that’s all I read, I was still fighting the body image battle, and it felt comfortable.

I enjoy exercising and healthy living, absolutely. But that’s such a small fraction of what I’m about. I’ve begun to feel pigeonholed, and honestly, the more I identify with brands that rhyme with schmitfluential, the faker I feel.

Applying to write about Reebok and Puma? That’s NOT me. But I kept on trying. And when I never got chosen for a single campaign, I felt unsuccessful. Like, What the fuck am I doing?

not ff

Well, I’ve been knocking on the wrong doors and chasing the wrong opportunities. As much as I wanted to emulate other people when I started this journey, my life motto kept ringing true.

It’s better to be a first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of someone else.

I guess this post is more for me than it is for you, but I’m officially saying goodbye to my affinity to Healthy Living Blogging. The Lunchbox Diaries isn’t going anywhere, it’s just going to veer off the intended path.

This isn’t groundbreaking news, obviously. I haven’t written any real “healthy living” content in months, but I’ve clung to the label and I’ve been “shoulding all over myself” in regards to topic posts, and I’ve lacked a sense of direction.

Thankfully, I think I’ve found it.

Do I know where it will lead? Absolutely not, but I hope you’ll stick around to find out.

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A Gem of an Etsy Shop

I dealt with two extremely heavy cases at work last week, so I didn’t have the energy to pick the Pomfret winner on Friday. My apologies! The winner is #27, Maureen! Mo, email me at thelunchboxdiaries[at]gmail[dot]com and I’ll put you in contact with Kim!

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Okay, I have more jewelry to talk about today. I’ll be honest, I thought Will readers be annoyed that I just talked about Kim’s line, now I want to talk about Diane’s line? 

I came to the conclusion that:

1. It’s my blog and I’ll talk about whatever the hell I want.

2. The point of this blog is to share my thoughts, likes, and dislikes…and what girl doesn’t want to know about cute, affordable jewelry?

That said…

I’m so excited to start a series of giveaways for you guys! I met Diane of Rings and Necklaces last month at the Richmond Home and Garden Show, and I pretty much fell in love with her instantly. She’s hands down, one of the cutest women I’ve ever met.

diana

sorry for the iphone blur

I bought a few pieces that day, and we somehow ended up talking about growing her online presence, so she can stay home on the weekends. Diane does shows almost every weekend to showcase her amazing jewelry, but let’s be honest, homegirl wants to spend some time with her hubby!

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Because she’s genuinely kind, and I honestly love her jewelry, I offered to introduce her on my blog at no cost (she did give me a bracelet, though ;) ). I suggested doing a giveaway, and she said, I can do better than that!

Screen shot 2014-03-03 at 11.02.53 AMI met up with her yesterday and she offered up all this jewelry to give away to my readers! What?! 

So, in the upcoming weeks, I’ll have one or two Rings and Necklaces pieces to give away at the bottom of most posts. I also plan on doing a giveaway or two on Instagram, so make sure you’re following along!

To kick this week off, I’m giving away two of Diane’s Maltese Cross Medallion bangles.

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There’s multiple ways to enter, just leave a comment for each one (to better your chances, duh ;) )

1. Leave a comment about the pieces you’re most looking forward to seeing as a giveaway (mandatory)

2. Follow Rings and Necklaces on Instagram (optional)

3. Follow Rings and Necklaces on Twitter (optional)

4. Like Rings and Necklaces on Facebook (optional)

Or just go buy your own stuff and use the code “save15″ to save 15% until March 29th!

Disclaimer: Like I mentioned above – aside from one bracelet, I was not compensated for this post. I really just like Diane and her jewelry, and I hope you do, too! :)

 

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